


Delay

by DH78



Category: Twilight Series - Stephenie Meyer
Genre: AH - Freeform, Angst, F/M, Fluff, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-06-02
Updated: 2012-06-07
Packaged: 2017-11-06 16:38:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 63
Words: 24,593
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/421015
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DH78/pseuds/DH78
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Life is too short to delay. A story about realizing what you never knew you wanted, until it's too late. AH. Drabble.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**SM owns. NOT BETA'D.**

**Chapter 1**

 

"So you're coming, right?"

"Yes, Alice, I told you I'll be there. I'm not going to miss my best friend's birthday."

Seriously. Does my sister really think I'd skip out?

Never.

I'd never flake out on my best friend. I'm an asshole most of the time, but Bella sees through that and still gives me the time of day.

She always has. Since middle school.

"Good, because she's been down since the whole Mike thing."

"Mike's a prick. She can do better than that."

Alice's responding bitchface expression is something I can do without.

"And keep Lauren away. I don't really feel like watching her hang all over you trying to get attention. Tonight's about Bella."

I roll my eyes.

Lauren's just a pass time. I don't get what the big deal is.

"It's a big deal because Bella doesn't like her either."

Damn Alice and her psychic instincts.


	2. Chapter 2

SM Owns. NOT BETA'D ;)

"Surprise!" Everyone shouts as Rose leads Bella through the door of Alice's apartment.

Bella's face is priceless.

It causes me to chuckle because her eyes pop out like one of those cartoons.

But she's happy. Really happy.

I love seeing her happy. She deserves nothing less than complete bliss.

She's an angel. My angel.

I can see her searching the faces. I know she's looking for me.

We lock eyes and she smiles even brighter.

It makes me smile wider.

I need to hug her. She makes everything better.

So I hang back and wait for everyone to get their moment with the birthday girl.

I'm patient, because I need my moment with her.

She finally stands in front of me.

"You came." She almost sounds surprised. He brown eyes shine and it fills me up with sunshine.

"I wouldn't miss it, Angelgirl."

We hug and all is right in the world.

"Happy birthday, Bella," I whisper. She shivers, and I smile against her hair knowing I caused it.

"It is now," I hear her whisper back.


	3. Chapter 3

**SM owns.**

**Not beta'd.**

* * *

The party goes off without a hitch and I can't take my eyes off of her.

Every so often, her eyes will find mine and we'll share a silent conversation.

I know she wants to talk to me, and believe me I want to talk to her. It's been way too long. I know it's my fault.

Things have been hectic for me. Starting med school chewed me up and spit me out.

I'm up for the challenge, don't get me wrong. I graduated top of my undergraduate class. But med school is a big change.

By the time the last few peripheral acquaintances and friends say their goodbyes, I find her sitting on the fire escape finishing off her beer. Her eyes are far away.

But like always, she senses me and smiles.

"Thank you for coming."

I sit next to her and soak in her warmth. I take her bottle and take a swig.

"I wouldn't have missed it for the world."

"You missed it last year." She sounds shy and cautious.

It's not like us to tiptoe around.

"Bella, you know why," I whisper, looking out onto the street.

"Yeah. I know why." Her eyes look sad. I can't have that. Time to change the subject.

"So, twenty-one. How's it feel?" I tease, bumping into her shoulder.

"Not that different, actually," she smiles.

"How's school?"

"Busy," I reply. "You?"

"Same."

There's an awkwardness I can't stand. It used to be so easy with us. Being with her was so easy.

What happened to us?

The silence stretches for a few moments before she asks.


	4. Chapter 4

**SM owns. Not beta'd.**

**Witfit prompt: "I didn't come here to argue," he said.**

* * *

"Where's Lauren?" There's a slight edge to her voice.

I roll my eyes. I wish everyone would understand.

Lauren's just some girl who keeps my bed warm sometimes.

"She's not here."

Bella scoffs.

"I can see that. I meant  _why_  isn't she here? Aren't you two a... thing?"

I look at her profile, silently willing her to look at me. When she does, her eyes are dejected. Sad.

It's her birthday, and I'm fucking it up with my idiocy.

"Bella. She's nothing." I sigh.

Another bit of silence.

"She didn't look like _'nothing'_  the last time I saw you two together."

I scrub my hands over my face. This is fucked up.

"Bella. It was a bar. We were all a little drunk..."

"Yeah, and you let her rub herself all over you in public."

I stand up out of frustration and aggravation. I can't stay here and continue to make her feel like shit.

"I didn't come here to argue," I say, laying the empty beer bottle on the ground next to her.

She chuckles, but there's nothing funny about it.

"Yeah. Go. It's what you're good at."

I freeze, my back to her. Those words are punches in the gut.

"Bella, regardless of what you might think, I care about you. A lot. You're my best friend. I miss you. I miss us. But I'm not going to push. You call me when you want to hang."

I didn't even bother looking back. I can't. One look at her sad eyes and I won't recuperate.


	5. Chapter 5

**SM owns. Not Beta'd.**

* * *

**The first time we met...**

" _Just take a seat anywhere, Bella. Welcome."_

_Mr. Banner ushers the shy brunette everyone has been talking about into our English class. Can't tell what she looks like because her long dark hair is partially covering it._

_She hesitates as she looks around for available empty seats. She takes the one right next to me but I still can't see her because she uses her hair as a shield._

_Halfway through the class my pen runs out of ink. Fucking great. I ask around. Ben, Alec, Jess... no one has an extra one. I let out a frustrated sigh._

" _Here you go."_

_Her voice is small but strong, and when I turn I see her clearly._

_Brown eyes, pretty face, but not really my type. I like the blond girls._

_But she seems nice enough, now that she's giving me a pen and a small smile._

" _Thanks. Your name's Bella, right?" I ask, taking her pen._

_She simply nods. Shy little thing._

" _Well, I'm Edward. Edward Cullen."_

" _Bella. Bella Swan."_


	6. Chapter 6

**SM owns. Not Beta'd.**

**Witfit prompt: Bloom.**

* * *

_Mr. Banner pairs everyone off for a group project for one of the books we're reading, and since Bella is new and I'm the star student, he asks me to help her out and partner with her._

_She's nice, so I don't have a problem. we exchange numbers and emails and promise to plan a day to get together and tackle the assignment._

_At lunch, we see her walk into the cafeteria, her hair shielding her again. She hasn't made many friends yet, it seems... except for me._

" _Hey, that's Bella. She's in my art class. She's super nice and an awesome artist."_

_My twin sister, Rose, explains as she waves to Bella, catching her attention._

_There's a small smile on her face, probably relief, as she walks towards our table and sits next to Rose._

" _Hey!"_

" _Hi again," Bella greets before looking around the table and giving a tiny wave._

" _Hey, Bella," I say. She looks at me and smiles a little wider. I see her cheeks bloom pink. I wonder what her story is._

" _Hi, Edward," she greets back._

" _You guys already met?" Rose asks._

" _Um, yeah. He's my partner in English."_

" _Oh, that's cool. Edward's my twin."_

" _Really? I've never met twins. That's cool," Bella says sweetly._

_I have a feeling there's a new member of our little group of friends, and I think it's great. She's nice._


	7. Chapter 7

**SM owns. Not beta'd.**

**Witfit Prompt: Redeem.**

* * *

_What the fuck did you do? -R_

My sister.

_I didn't do anything, Rose. -E_

_So why is B so sad all of a sudden? It's her bday, you jerk. -R_

I breathe and exhale loudly. I pull up a stool at a bar down the street from Alice's and motion the bar tender for a drink. This night's been a disaster.

_Rose, I seem to make her unhappy. I don't want that. I decided to take myself out for her sake. -E_

The phone rings. Fuck.

"What in the ever-loving fuck are you talking about? Edward, You guys have always been close. I just don't get it. Clueless... the both of you."

This, surprisingly, isn't the worst chew-out my sister has ever done to me.

I take a sip of my Guinness. She continues...

"And you need to stop this pattern of always leaving when things get tough. Your'e not doing this escape thing for 'her sake', you're doing it for yours. You're too stupid to see what's in front of you."

"Rose, Bella is better off without me to piss her off all the time."

"UGH! You're so infuriating. I don't understand how I share DNA with you."

I snort humorlessly.

"Edward. B hasn't been herself for the last year. I don't know what happened between you two, but you better fix it. Find a way to redeem yourself. She's my friend too. I love her," Rose says, almost tired.

"You don't think I do?"

"The show it. Be the best friend you claim to be. She needs you, even if you think she doesn't."

She hangs up on me.

Living my life without Bella in it. I don't think I can handle it anymore.


	8. Chapter 8

**SM owns. Not beta'd. But you already knew that.**

* * *

I stumble into my apartment and look at the time on my phone.

**3:00 A.M.**

I don't know how the fuck I managed to get home. I don't even remember giving the cab driver my address or paying him. But I'm here. And I'm numb.

I throw myself face down onto my bed, willing the world to stop spinning.

I was hoping that the alcohol would keep me from thinking about her.

It hasn't.

On the contrary. I'm thinking.

I'm thinking all over the place.

Everything we've been through. All the years we've known each other.

Each movie night.

Each afternoon we'd hang out and do homework, and laugh, and play video games.

That time I tried to teach her guitar chords.

Every good memory floods my senses.

My mind goes to last year... and every good memory wilts into nothing.

I fucked up. I am a fuck up.

In a moment of pure stupidity, I can't talk myself out of pulling out my phone.

_I'm sorry I fucked up. -E_

The I surrender to the black.

* * *

**A/N: Thank you all for your words of encouragement and I'm thrilled you love this little story. It's organic writing. No plan, no outline. My favorite.**


	9. Chapter 9

**SM owns. Not beta'd.**

* * *

**That time I taught her how to play...**

" _Why do I even listen to you? I can't do this!" She giggles._

" _Bella, You're sixteen. You can learn a few chords. C'mon, I'm making it easy on you!"_

_I love watching Bella get frustrated. There's a little line that forms in the middle of her eyebrows when she furrows them in deep concentration._

_She grunts. See? Frustrated. It's funny to watch. When I chuckle, she stares me down with her death glare, which makes me laugh even more, because she's like a little mouse trying to roar._

" _Edwaaarrrddd! I can't. Just give up on me already. I don't have a musical bone in my body." She pushes the guitar away, which has clearly offended her._

" _Belllaaa," I mock in response. "You gotta trust me. Believe in yourself and all that crap. Here, sit here next to me. I've got a trick."_

_She purses her lips and looks at me cautiously, because giving up and sitting next to me._

_She smells good. She smells comforting. I don't even know what the fuck it is, but it's good. I feel calm._

_I take the guitar and place it halfway on me and halfway on her._

" _Place your fingers here," I wrap my arm behind her and guide her fingers to the right frets and strings. I feel her tense and try to calm her. I speak in her ear since she's so close._

" _Relax, Angelgirl. It's just me. No one's gonna laugh at you, okay?"_

_She shivers before nodding in response. And she blushes..._

_I strum the chord, and she smiles._

* * *

**A/N: Thanks for reading. We'll be back to the present next update. BTW, some ppl were asking about the last flashback. They met in the middle of 8th grade :)**


	10. Chapter 10

**SM owns. Not beta'd.**

**Witfit prompt: Hilarious**

* * *

I wake up when the light floods my room through the halfway-drawn blinds.

My mouth is dry and tastes like ass.

There's banging in my head. Wow. I can actually hear and feel my pulse.

I stretch slowly, my limbs heavy. Looking down through crusty eyes I notice I'm fully dressed and I smell like a bar.

In another lifetime, this might've been hilarious to me.

I'm not laughing now.

My hand clutches my cell. I never let it go apparently.

I bring it to my face and unlock the screen.

**2:00 P.M.**

I've been dead to the world for almost twelve hours.

I also notice there are a few texts.

Emmett.

_Just checkin' up on you, bro. Hope you're still alive. Rose looked pissed. -E_

Rose.

_Call me later after you get over getting shitfaced. Maybe dinner later? -R_

And one text that makes me sit up, even if it still makes the room spin. Shit.

_You did fuck up. -B_

I immediately type something out.

_Can I see you? Coffee maybe? -E_

A few minutes go by and I worry that' I've fucked up enough for her to just say to hell with everything.

Then...

_Tomorrow. I don't have class after 3. -B_

_Okay. I'll call tomorrow for deets. -E_

* * *

**A/N: So, there's that. I wonder what's gonna happen?**

**Thank you to all of my readers and reviewers, my twitter pimps and FB h00rs. Even though I don't reply to reviews, you know I love you all.**

**Fic rec: Been reading _Not Going There_  by LuckIrishTart... Cop Bella and Cop Edward. Love it so far... ;)**


	11. Chapter 11

**SM owns. Not beta'd.**

**Flashback time.**

* * *

**That time I crushed on Tanya...**

_This girl's smokin'._

_Long blond hair in a straight, swishy ponytail. Tits out to there._

_Tanya Denali._

_Varsity cheerleading captain. In her fucking little cheerleading uniform._

_She's a junior, but she keeps looking at me._

Me.  _A Sophomore._

_I might be a little smug._

_By the of the first semester, she's going down on me._

_She's done this before. It's so good I think I may pass out._

_At school, we parade around as the hottest couple on campus._

_Bella's not amused._

" _I don't like her," she says one day at lunch. Tanya's at a state competition, so she's not here._

" _What do you not like about her? She hasn't done anything to you, she barely even says_ hello _to you."_

" _That's the problem." She takes a bite of her pizza, eyes down._

" _I'm with Bella. Tanya's been around, brother dear. Something tells me you're another notch."_

_Fucking Rose._

" _Yeah, well let me be the judge of that. We're doing just fine. She's very talented..." I wiggle my eyebrows at Em. He snorts and slaps me on the back. Ow._

" _Fuck, E. You tappin' that already, huh? It's been like two weeks."_

_We exchange fist bumps while my sister levels Em with her death glare. He immediately cowers. Pussy._

_Just then, the loud screech of the metal chair against the floor makes my head snap to its source._

" _I'll see you later Rose," Bella mumbles without a second glance or goodbye to me._

" _What the fuck was that?" I star at my best friend's retreating form wondering what the hell's wrong with her._

_This time, Rose's death glare's on me._

" _You're a fucking idiot."_

* * *

**A/N: He is.**


	12. Chapter 12

**SM owns. Not beta'd.**

* * *

Before my morning class I tap out a text message.

_Hey. We still on for today? -E_

Minutes later, there's a response.

_Yeah. How about that cafe on Sullivan, down the street from campus? -B_

Great. I guess I deserve having to trek from Columbia to the Village...

_Ok. See you then. -E_

I pocket my cell and sit in the large auditorium and pretend to pay attention.

When the professor's voice fades into white noise, I can't help but wonder what's going to happen.

What are we going to talk about? Is she going to bring up what happened last year?

Was that really what did it? What destroyed us? What we were?

I know I probably have to apologize. I don't want to be this asshole she must think I am.

She has to know how much our friendship means to me and how much the separation has been killing me.

Will she forgive me?

Is she meeting with me to tell me she wants nothing to do with me?

The thought makes me slightly panic.

I've known Bella almost nine years.

She wouldn't want to throw that away... would she?

Fuck. I don't want to lose her.

* * *

**A/N: Clueless... clueless boy. I created him and I wanna smack him.**

**Your reviews rock. I love you all.**


	13. Chapter 13

**SM owns.**

**Witfit prompt: Throw.**

* * *

**That time Garrett was around...**

"Hey, you wanna go grab a movie and some grub later?" I ask as I send Tanya a text, canceling on getting together tonight.

Bella and I are doing a group project for AP American History and she's on my bed with the laptop in front of her. She doesn't look up when she responds.

"Um, yeah. I guess... No, wait..." She stops typing, looking like she's thinking something over.

I watch her fidget a bit and look up shyly.

"Actually... um, can we maybe do that tomorrow instead?"

"Uh, yeah. I guess. May ask why? Got a hot date tonight or something?" I chuckle, because really, I've never seen the girl with a guy.

"Well..." I see her cheeks redden.

I stop laughing. I throw my phone on the desk and stare at her. Her eyes watch me warily before lowering to her fidgety fingers.

"What, you  _do_  have a date? Seriously?" I don't know why this upsets me.

"Yeah. He texted me a little while ago, wanted to hang out later," she confirms, pausing to look at me again before continuing.

"And I said yes."

"Why don't I know about this? When did this happen, Bella? We hang out all the time, you could've told me."

I watch as Bella straightens her back and gives me a defiant glare. I've never seen this side of her.

"Ah, but we haven't really been hanging out all the time, have we, Edward? You've been with Tanya, and that's okay I guess, because she's your girlfriend or whatever..."

"But..."

"Garrett's a nice guy. We've been talking for a while, and actually he's been at lunch while you've been skipping it to shove your tongue in Tanya's mouth!"

 _Shit_. Here eyes shine brightly, and now she's read, but not from blushing. She's pissed.

* * *

**A/N: Sorry to cut it off... it was getting too long...**


	14. Chapter 14

**SM owns. Not beta'd.**

**That time... continued...**

* * *

"Bella... I... I'm sorry... shit..." I better calm the fuck down.

She huffs, blowing her bangs away from her face and taking a few deep breaths.

She's cute when she does that. It makes me want to smile a little, but I know if I do, I'll just piss her off a little more, so I refrain.

Taking a few steps to cautiously sit down next to her on the bed, I speak softly.

"I'm sorry, Bella. I know I shouldn't even talk. You're right. I haven't been around... I've been a little preoccupied..."

Bella scoffs.

"Okay, okay. A lot preoccupied. But why didn't you tell me if you thought I was being a dick? We've always been straight with each other."

Bella shrugs. "I guess I didn't want to cramp your style. Tanya always gives me the stinkeye when I'm around. I don't want to be around you when you're with her. You change."

I frown. "I change? What do you mean?"

She takes another deep breath. "I mean, you become this whole other person. Like you could give a shit about everyone else around you. You become a douche, quite honestly." She gives me a side look while I process what she's saying.

"I'm still me, Bella..."

"Yes, and I like who Edward is when he's with me, like this. There's no show, there's no image you're trying to so desperately give people." She turns completely towards me and looks at me sincerely.

I lower my head and nod. "I'm sorry. I promise I'll give more time to us." I rest my hand on her jean-covered knee and she smiles sweetly.

This is the Bella I know.

"So, tell me about this Garrett guy."

* * *

**A/N: Sorry. Have to cut it off here... hard to make this scene drabble-esque...**


	15. Chapter 15

**SM owns. Not Beta'd.**

* * *

"He's a senior. Plays baseball."

Great. A fucking jock.

"Em actually knows him. He introduced us, actually..."

I make a mental note of kicking Emmett's fucking ass.

I nod, trying to be the supportive best friend.

Don't get me wrong. I want her to be happy. Nothing pleases me more to know she's happy. But, fuck... a jock. A senior.

"You better tell me if he ever pressures you into doing anything..."

"Edward! Eww, stop! You're not my brother. I can take care of myself." She shoves me, half playfully, but I can tell she means what she says.

She always does.

I chuckle and pout, rubbing the spot where she shoved me.

"Fine! Fine! Damn, woman, you don't have to get violent."

We both burst out into laughter. And my world is right again as we throw ourselves to lay on my pillows, side by side, looking up at the ceiling.

"So, when do I meet this _Garrett_?"

"Probably tomorrow, if you're there for lunch."

I nod again, followed by comfortable silence.

"Who knows, maybe we'll go on a double date." I blurt out.

We turn our heads to stare at each other and pause.

Bella speaks.

"I don't think so."

* * *

**A/N: back to the present next time... oh, boy.**

**Thanks for reading and reviewing.**


	16. Chapter 16

**SM owns. Unbeta'd.**

**Witfit Prompt: Gut**

**Dialogue Flex: "I've put this off long enough."**

* * *

I'm actually nervous. I feel something in my gut... like butterflies.

I walk into the quaint, little cafe full of wannabe free-thinkers and artists and spot Bella right away.

She's tucked away in a little corner, her hand moving furiously over her sketchbook.

Her hair's down and practically covering her face, and it takes me back to that first day in the eighth grade.

I smile as I walk towards her, and sit in the chair opposite her and just watch.

She knows I'm here, but hasn't looked up once. I know better than to interrupt her creative moments. She's one of the best artists I've ever seen. Very intense.

It's kind of sexy to watch her paint.

Then again, I might be biased.

When she finally puts the finishing touches on what looks to be some kind of crazy, dreamlike landscape, she closes the book and looks up.

Her eyes.

She's so tired. She looks exhausted.

I wonder if I caused it, and a want to kick myself for not noticing it sooner.

"Hi."

"Hey."

We look at each other for a while, no one says a word. The world continues to move around us, but here, it's just us.

"Bella. About the other night..."

She raises her hand in silent request for me to shut up. My mouth snaps shut.

She takes a very deep breath, closing her eyes before reopening them.

I see determination. She's striking.

"Okay. I've put this off long enough."


	17. Chapter 17

**SM owns. Unbeta'd.**

**  
**

"There's so much I want to say and I have no idea where to start."

I lean my elbows on the table and stare at her. "Just say what you want to tell me. I'm a big boy, I can handle it. I feel like shit anyway."

"Please don't."

"Don't what?" My eyes widen.

"Make yourself into the victim. You've always done that. You're a grown man, Edward. I'd like to think you care about me enough to be straight with me. You can't manipulate me anymore."

Damn, her eyes never leave mine. Who  _is_  this girl, and where is Bella?

"Bella, I..." I see her eyes narrow. She means business. "I'll shut up."

"Good. Okay..."

She takes another moment to compose herself.

"I don't think we can be friends anymore."

In that moment, my world stands still.


	18. Chapter 18

**SM owns. Unbeta'd.**

**Witfit prompt: Hand**

* * *

"What? Bella, if this is about the other night, I'm sorry... I shouldn't have walked away... I should've sat down and talked it out with you. Seriously, all I want is for you to be happy. But B, we've been friends way too long for you to just want to end everything... I mean, yeah, we haven't talked for a while and I know why, but still, please..."

I see tears well up in her eyes and I want to reach over and tuck her under my shoulder and comfort her. I hate seeing Bella cry. I hate it.

"Edward, please, just listen for once!" Her shout shocks me into silence and earns a few head turns from the cafe patrons.

"I can't. I was really hoping that I would be able to put everything past me and see you at the party and act like things are fine. But they're not, Edward. They're not.

After everything, do you honestly think I can pretend last year never happened?"

 _Again_  with shit.

"Bella, I already apologized a million times. A lot happened that night, and there's nothing I can do to take it back. I really wish I could. B..." I reach over to grab her hand in mine. Luckily, she doesn't reject me. Progress. She looks at me with her sad eyes.

"B, just tell me what I have to do? Don't throw our friendship away."

"That's just the problem, Edward. I can't go back. I'm in love with you."

* * *

**A/N: Why, yes... that _IS_  a cliffie...**


	19. Chapter 19

**SM owns. Unbeta'd.**

**That time you took me by surprise...**

* * *

Senior year has afforded me the pick of the litter when it comes to the female population.

But the one's that got everyone talking is Irina Everton.

Senior royalty to the umpteenth degree. Homecoming Queen, AP student, recently accepted to not one, but two Ivy League universities.

And, very... very experienced. As she's shown me time and time again for the last month or so.

I'm a lucky motherfucker.

Prom is quickly approaching and of course, I'm taking her.

Bella's been distant lately. But then again, she always is when I've got a girl around. We're always fighting about how I change when I'm with the girls.

It's a losing battle with her.

"So, are you like, going to prom with Irina?" Bella asks quietly while we sit under the giant oak tree during lunch. We're seniors, we don't eat in the cafeteria any more.

"Um, yeah, of course. It's like expected, you know?" Everyone was expecting to see the star pitcher for the varsity baseball team and the resident Perfect Girl at what's considered historically the biggest social event of your high school experience.

"Oh, cool. I guess I'll see you there then," she said cooly.

 _Huh?_  I chuckle, because I know she's joking.

"That's funny, B. Ha ha."

Bella looked up with an defiant expression.

"I'm serious. I'm going to prom."

"Bella, I thought you said you weren't going to prom because you were against the whole 'pageantry' or 'fakeness' or whatever you called it."

"Well, I changed my mind. Someone asked me and I said yes."

"Who?" I don't know why I was so curious, but I'm her best friend, so I should know these things and be all protective and stuff.

"You don't know him," she said, avoiding eye contact.

"He's not from our school? Then what school does he go to?"

"He's from the visual arts high school."

Another artist. _Great_. Probably some emo loser. I suppress an eye roll and take a bite out of my burrito.

"Where'd you meet him?"

"When I went on that field trip to the museum. He was a part of a group show and was curating it. We got to talking, and he asked for my number. We've been hanging out..." She trails off, sipping her Coke.

I try to process what I'm hearing. What she's telling me bothers the hell out of me. I think it's because I haven't met him yet.

"Bella, wow. Is, is this guy..."

"Alec," she adds.

"Okay, this  _Alec_  guy, are you guys... like a  _thing_?" I don't want to hear the answer but I do.

Her eyes finally meet mine.

"Edward, he's my boyfriend."

* * *

**A/N:** **I was going to use the Witfit prompt, but somehow I don't think my Edawrd would use a word like "Topsy-turvy." Um.. no.**


	20. Chapter 20

**SM owns. Unbeta'd.**

**Witfit prompt: Stake**

* * *

When we arrive at the hotel where prom's being held, I can sense the vibrating energy, people from school are everywhere dressed in their tight dresses and rented tuxes.

I'm fucking ecstatic. Irina's wearing this skin-tight black number with her tits all perky and a nice slit that she let me slip my hand through in the limo before getting here. If people only knew how dirty she can be. Little Miss Perfect.

_Sure._

I find myself scoping the place out for own person. Everyone waves and wants to get my attention, but I really want to see her.

And when I do see her, the floor drops out from under me.

She's beautiful.

She looks like an angel. My Angelgirl.

She's wearing some cream-colored Chinese dress. All slinky and showing off her smooth curves.

Yeah I always knew she was a pretty girl. But this is...

There's a bright glow around her, all warm and inviting. I can't even explain it. But she's smiling ear to ear, and I live to see her smile like that. When it happens because of me, it makes my day.

But I didn't put that smile there this time.

I leave Irina talking to her girlfriends in search of my best friend. I want to hug her. Put my arms around her.

Smell her apple spray that she buys all the fucking time at Bath & Body Works when we're at the mall hanging out.

But before I reach her, there's a dude who sidles up to her, wrapping his arm around her little waist.

Like a stake through the heart. What's wrong with me?

And I don't understand it, but the only thing I want to do is beat the shit out of him.

* * *

**A/N: Perhaps one more flashback before I go to bed? Maybe. ;)**

**Once upon a time, my BFF (a boy) was _THAT BOY_  I was in love with from 7th grade to senior year of high school. He seriously didn't have A CLUE how I felt about him. I saw him go through about 3 girlfriends while I had none. And yes, once I had a boyfriend after graduation, my BFF came to a party I threw and saw me with him, and nearly had a heart attack, pissed at me saying he didn't like him for me (he went to school with us. They didn't get along). Of course, he claimed he was just pissed I never told him I was going out with said boyfriend. Everyone to this day swears my BFF  _did_  in fact have feelings for me, just never knew how to define it.**

**Fast forward, He got married and divorced w/in 3 yrs, and I've been happily married for 5 (not to the old boyfriend, though lol). Hmm...**

**So yes. Boys can be and ARE usually pretty CLUELESS.**


	21. Chapter 21

**SM owns. Unbeta'd**

**That time we danced at prom...**

* * *

"May I have this dance?"

Yeah, you bet I just asked her to dance.

Everyone's finishing up their dessert at their respective tables and I can't stand it anymore.

I want to dance.

Irina's busy showing off to her friends about how U Penn and Duke both gave her a scholarship and she just can't decide which school has more to offer her. I don't know, I kind of zoned out after she mentioned her nearly perfect SAT score. I bet she doesn't tell them how she begs me to make her come.

Bella's chatting with her artsy friends and laughing at something  _Alec_... the _boyfriend_ , says before her head snaps up at the sound of my voice.

Everyone else's head does the same thing.  _Alec_  gives me a hard look, which makes me grin just a little.

I hold out my hand, waiting for her to take it. She looks confused, shocked, maybe a little pissed at me?

I just keep smiling and tilt my head towards the dance floor.

"C'mon, dance with me. You don't mind,  _Alec_ , right? I just want to have a dance with my  _best friend_." I eye the boyfriend. He kinda looks a little like that dude from the Mac commercials.

He glares at me before smiling and leaning into Bella, turning her face towards him and kissing her.

With tongue.

Asshole knows exactly what he's doing.

"Sure. Come back to me, okay, baby?"

 _Baby?_ I scoff. _Baby._

_She hates that term._

I've had enough of his shit so I take her hand and pretty much pull her away towards the dance floor.

* * *

**A/N: Oh, high school. I'm so soooooo glad to be out of that hot mess.**

**Want something fast and cute to read? Shahula's _Pressing My Luck_. Inkella and Inkward. Cute and sexy. Show her some love.**

**Thank you so much for your reviews and telling me how this brings you back to similar situations you've been in. I love reading them all, even if RL doesn't furnish me with the time to reply.**


	22. Chapter 22

**SM owns. Unbeta'd.**

**That time I made you smile at prom...**

* * *

"Wow, do you think you guys can lay off the pissing match a bit?" She says through gritted teeth as I hold her close and just sway to the music.

I chuckle into her hair and I feel her shiver as my arms wrap around her waist. The satin of her dress feels so good against my fingers.

She smells like apples.

My favorite.

"I don't know what you're talking about," I say innocently.

"You do  _so_  know," she whispers close to my ear, her breath tickles and feels good.

"It's his fault."

"How do you figure?"

"He's the one who's insecure. He should know you don't get in between best friends."

This time she chuckles dryly.

"Uh, yeah. Just like you don't let your girlfriends get in the way of our friendship, right?"

I spin her around and tucking her back against me.

"I only have one girlfriend, and she likes you."

"She treats me like a little stray puppy she feels sorry for and pats on the head."

I can't help it, that visual makes me laugh. Which then causes her to giggle.

This is how we are. This is how it should be.

Me. Making her smile.

Our laughter dies down and there's an awkward silence that follows through the rest of the song. She's quiet as a mouse, I can't take the weirdness so I say the first thing I can think of.

"You look really beautiful tonight, Angelgirl."

"Yeah?" Bella stops to look at me, almost doubting my words.

"Yeah. I mean, this dress... shit, you look really amazing in this dress." I pull away to eye her from head to toe. She really does look incredible.

She blushes. I love that I have that affect on her.

I wonder if _Alec_  makes her blush.

Just the thought... Ugh.

"I'm sorry I made you uncomfortable over there. And I'm sorry that I always seem to disappoint you."

I am. I don't know why she's still friends with me, honestly. She deserves better.

"Please. Don't play the victim act, Edward." She rolls her eyes. "Just dance with me... I miss you."

"Yes ma'am."

And just like that, we're back to the old Edward and Bella.

* * *

**A/N: Don't you feel just a little sorry for him? I mean, it's not like Bella's being very forthcoming about her feelings for him at this point... Right?**


	23. Chapter 23

**SM owns. Unbeta'd.**

**Witfit prompt: Corner**

* * *

**And we're back at the coffee shop...**

" _B, just tell me what I have to do? Don't throw our friendship away."_

" _That's just the problem, Edward. I can't go back. I'm in love with you."_

And there it is.

My vision blurs and I close my eyes. I try to process what she has just confessed. Here. In a little corner in this little cafe.

I've treated her like crap countless times. Yes, I know I have.

I'm not what she needs. I'm not what she deserves- as I've so blatantly proven over the years... especially last year.

"Edward?"

"Hmm?" My eyes are still closed.

"Say something, please." Her voice is a quiver.

I open my eyes an see fear and worry.

She's in love with me.

"What should I say?"

She frowns and just like that fiery Bella is back.

"What should you  _say_? Are you  _kidding_ me, Edward? I just told you I'm in love with you, and you ask me what you should  _say_?"

The bite in her voice makes me look away and my palms sweat. I'm pretty sure my heart is beating out of my chest.

She's in love with me.

Love.

I sensed it before. But thought it was just me imagining things. Why would she want to be in love with me?

Bigger question, do I love her?

I open my mouth to speak but nothing comes out.

But then, she speaks again. Her voice a deadly calm.

"Edward. It's time to make a decision."

* * *

**A/N: Doh! Yes. Another cliffie. But c'mon, I hardly do it in my stories... so suck it up. I update frequently enough... You'll get more coffee shop talk later ;) Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go hide.**


	24. Chapter 24

**SM owns. Unbeta'd.**

**That time we got our acceptance letters...**

* * *

I see the envelope sitting on the kitchen counter.

GEORGETOWN UNIVERSITY written in bold letters in the corner.

It's fat. That's a good sign, right?

Shit. It's my first choice.

My breath speeds up as my fingers trace the letters.

"Well, open it, silly! I'm going crazy here!"

Mom.

"C'mon son, don't keep us in suspense!"

Dad's giddy like a little girl. It would be funny if I weren't nervous as hell.

I open the packet.

_Dear Mr. Cullen, It is with great pleasure the we..._

Mom's reading over my shoulder and already shrieking and hugging Dad, jumping up and down.

I'm in.

I grab my keys and run out the door, packet in hand.

Only one person I want to share this moment with.

She knows how much I wanted this.

Tires screech as I park the car and run to her door, knocking frantically.

"Hey, Edward. She's upstairs. Hey, you look happy, is that what I think it is?" Charlie, Bella's dad smiles, ushering me in and pointing at the envelope in my hand.

_No time for small talk, old man._

"Yes, sir. Georgetown."

Heavy hand pats me hard on the shoulder.

"Congrats, Edward. Proud of ya. Go see Bella. She's got news too." Charlie's beaming.

He's so proud of his girl. I'm proud of her too.

As I bound up the stairs and knock on her door, I hear her rush to the door.

It swings open, and I see light. She's light. Like being close to the sun, it's gravitational pull undeniable.

"Yeah?"

She nods excitedly. "NYU. Fine Arts program. Full ride!"

I grab her, my arms tight around her waist as I lift her up and spin her around.

The sound of her squeals and giggles is my entire world.

She pulls away to stare at me. Her question clear in her eyes.

I nod just like she did. "Georgetown."

We hug again.

We're going to college. I'm only a four-hour drive from her.

It's gonna be awesome.

* * *

**A/N: More later ;)**

**Thanks again for reading and reviewing! I love your theories and I also love how some of you are being easier on Edward than others. The rest of you want his balls on a silver platter. lol We'll see...**


	25. Chapter 25

**SM owns. Unbeta'd.**

* * *

I rub my eyes and look around, groggily seeing Jane still sleeping, naked as the day she was born on my bed. Her blond hair fanned across the pillow.

She's pretty. Really pretty. And I made her come a few times, so I'm pretty sure she's out for a few hours still.

I slowly stretch and head to the bathroom to do my business before grabbing my phone on the nightstand. There's a text message.

_Happy Birthday, Edward. I miss you. -B_

My smile is instant.

_Why thank you, Angelgirl. Sucks we can't hang together this year. -E_

_Next year, for sure. We'll be turning 21 and we graduate. Cause for celebration. ;) -B_

_Yes it is. I wouldn't miss is for the world. -E_

Then I ask the question I've been itching to. Rose has already filled me in since they talk almost every day. I'm jealous of my sister. She's more her BFF than I am.

_So, you and that guy still, you know... -E_

_Mike? Yeah. We're still together. He's nice. Sweet. -B_

Nice and sweet. Something inside makes me stomach tie in knots. Maybe I'm just homesick. She reminds me of home. I want to see her.

It bother me he gets to see her and I don't.

The next question is the most important. It's all that matters.

_Are you happy? -E_

A few moments pass before she responds.

_Yeah. Yeah, I am. -B_

_Good. Skype next week? -E_

_I'd like that. :) -B_

"Hey, you. You coming to bed? I hate waking up alone."

I turn my head to see Jane all sleepy... and still naked.

The knots are still there in my stomach. But she's happy. It's all that matters.

"Yeah. I'm coming."

* * *

**A/N: I know. I'm killing you... there's a method, I swear. One or two more before bed... At least the story's living up to its title.**


	26. Chapter 26

**SM owns. Unbeta'd.**

* * *

"So, this thing with Mike is serious?"

"Serious enough that she's brought him home for Thanksgiving. What do you think?" Rose give me the bitch glare.

I exhale loudly.

"Play nice tonight. He's a nice guy, Edward. You'd actually like him."

Rose and I are driving to Emmett's house to hang out. Everyone had dinner with their respective families earlier, and now we're all going to play some pool. Em's got a sweet set up at his parents' house.

"I'll be the judge of that," I grumble.

No one will ever be good enough for Bella.

"Hey! 'Sup? C'mon down!" Em's voice booms through the house as everyone hugs and says hello.

Bella runs towards me and I scoop her up.

Apples. I breathe in home.

"I'm so happy to see you! I've missed you so much!" She says in my ear.

"I've missed you too, Angelgirl." I close my eyes and revel in happiness.

I hear a throat clear behind us. One I don't recognize.

Bella pulls away and looks down shyly before grabbing the guy's hand and pulling him towards me.

"Edward, I'd like you to meet Mike. Mike, this is my best friend, Edward."

He's all-american, boy-next-door. Preppy-looking. Not at all what I imagined. Bella's always dated the artsy-slash-I-don't-give-a-shit-what-I-look-like type.

"Nice to finally put a face to the name, Edward." He smiles a Colgate smile and offers his hand. I take it, squeezing firmly. He winces slightly, but recovers.

_That's right, fucker. Don't fuck with her._

The rest of the night is spent laughing, playing pool, and me watching Bella and Mike interact. He dotes on her. He's nice to her.

Fuck. Can't find anything wrong with him.

And that doesn't sit well with me.

"Let it go, little brother." Rose sits next to me following my line of sight to the couple.

"Little? We're twins."

"I'm still older by four minutes."

"Fuck that."

She chuckles silently.

"If you love her, you'll support this. She's the happiest I've seen her in a long time."

I glance up at my sister. Her face is serious and pleading.

"I see that."

So why aren't I okay with that?

* * *

**A/N: Getting closer to THAT TIME.**


	27. Chapter 27

**SM owns. Unbeta'd.**

* * *

_I open my mouth to speak but nothing comes out._

_But then, she speaks again. Her voice a deadly calm._

" _Edward. It's time to make a decision."_

I'm stone cold. I can't move. Thoughts running through my head at light speed.

I must stay like that too long for her liking because in a flash, she's talking again.

"Okay, look. I get it. I really do. Don't want you to think too hard there, you might sprain something. I just wanted to see you face to face when I told you. So, yeah, that's the reason I can't be friends with you anymore. I know things won't change on your end, and I should know that, right? I mean, I've known you for years, I know how you operate. I'm not what you want, and you have Lauren... I don't know why I ever thought..."

Bella stands abruptly, pulling on her jacket and grabbing her purse and sketch book.

She stops and turns to look at me straight in the eye. I still can't say a fucking thing. I don't know how to organize my thoughts. They're all over the place.

"You know? I thought, after what happened last year, that maybe... maybe, you might've actually felt something more for me. I should've been pissed at you for what you did, and I was. But, I love you. I always have. Since the first time I saw you. Since that night, though, I've been working up the nerve to tell you how I feel. But after the way that night ended, I should've known you didn't feel the same. I'm sorry, Edward. I can't do this anymore."

And just like that. She's gone.

My heart drops to my feet, and I'm hollowed out.

What just happened?

* * *

**A/N: Yeah. What just happened? Still think B's in the right?**


	28. Chapter 28

**SM owns. Unbeta'd.**

**Yep. This is THE chapter. Longest one yet! This is 1 yr after his last bday.**

* * *

**That time the shit hit the fan...**

Music's loud as shit. But it's all good.

They're all here for me.

"Happy birthday, little brother!" Rose drunkenly throws her arms around me and squeezes the crap out of me. I'd be pissed if I wasn't pretty drunk myself.

All my friends are here, and right behind my sister I see her.

She's watching me, a small smile playing at her lips.

She so pretty.

After everyone else says their happy birthdays, there's a song with a danceable beat and I decide to make her laugh.

I make a show of sauntering over to her, showing off my best dance moves. I'm aware I'm making a damn fool of myself, but seeing her crack up at my antics is worth every second of humiliation.

As soon as I'm close enough my arms are wide open. She doesn't hesitate and practically jumps in my arms.

"Happy birthday, drunk boy!" She yells in my ear over the music.

We're smiling ear to ear at each other and I take her out to the dance floor.

"Where's Mike?"

"Couldn't make it. He sends his good wishes."

"Whatever. I only care that you're here anyway."

"Where's Lauren?"

"We had a fight. You know how it is... she likes the drama. Whatever. I wanna dance with you."

Our friends join us for a bit before the music changes to something a little slower, a little sexier. She makes to separate from me but no way. I pull her back in.

I want her here with me.

She looks a little shocked at my decision to stay here and dance with her.

I can't resist.

"You smell so good, Bellllla..."

I know she's not drunk. She's not twenty-one yet, and even though she'll be legal in three months, she's too by-the-book to live dangerously.

She giggles. I know she thinks I'm trashed, but I don't care. I want to tell her everything. Everything I shouldn't say, but I have to.

"Bella, you're so pretty... fucking beautiful..." I bring her closer to me, swaying our hips together. I push my leg in between her legs and can feel the heat of her through my jeans.

She's fucking hot. Skinny little jeans and some top that makes her curves and her tits look incredible. Every fucker here's been watching her.  _She's mine, assholes._

My hands wander from her sides down to her thighs and back up again. There's not enough of her I can touch. I need more.

I can feel her breath at she gasps, but she's putty in my arms. I want her. Why haven't I kissed Bella after all these years? Why?

"Edward," she moans in my ear. I'm not sure if it's a warning, or if it's an invitation, but fuck it, I'm taking it.

My hands tangle through her hair as I slowly move us towards a darker, less busy are of the bar. It's a hallway or something.

"Bella, I want you so bad," I sigh into her neck. I do. I think I always have.

"Edward, you're drunk..." She whines weakly. Her hands hold onto my arms as I hold her head in my hands and touch my forehead to hers.

"I might be. But Bella, Angelgirl, please..." I don't know what I'm asking for, but I know whatever it is, she's the only one that can give it to me.

"What do you want, Edward?" She looks at me with those fucking beautiful eyes.

"I want you..."


	29. Chapter 29

**SM owns. Unbeta'd.**

* * *

**We're still in the flashback... hold on tight...**

I'm consumed with my need for her. I don't even have it in me to analyze anything.

This is spur of the moment shit and I'm all in.

I push her against the wall in the hallway and stare for a moment.

She's breathless, her eyes are wild, her chest heaving against mine. She wants this.

Bella wants this. Wants me.

I hold her head in my hands again and go for it.

Our open mouths meet and tongues dance. God, she tastes fucking amazing, he lips soft and sweet.

Her hands pull at my hair and I fucking love it. It causes me to grind myself against her and her responding moan into my mouth fucking wakes something in me.

I grab her ass and lift her, pushing into her as her legs wrap around me. I can't help it.

"Oh God," I hear her mewl.

My mouth settles in her neck. Fucking apples. It kills me. I suck and lick at her skin, working my way down to her chest and that gorgeous space in the center right before the swell of her tits start.

"Bella... shit." I feel everything everywhere.

I heckling whistle from a passing patron pulls me out of the daze I'm in momentarily and I freeze.

Bella stops too, her legs slowly settling on the ground once again. Her eyes are hooded, but she looks scared.

What am I doing?

I just dry-humped my best friend. I'm hard for my best friend.

I stumble back. Drunk as all hell.

"Bella, I'm... I'm...sorry, I..."

"Edward..."

I stumble again and push myself into the men's bathroom.

I look in the mirror. I'm flushed, breathing hard.

I splash water in my face, trying to sober up a bit to figure out what the hell do I do now...

When I walk out, Bella's not there anymore. Probably disgusted with the way I practically fucked her against the wall of a dirty bar.

"FUCK!" I need to talk to her. I need Bella. And just when I've made the decision to find her...

"Hey there, stranger."

That voice.

"Lauren? What the fuck are you doing here?"

She's standing at the doorway of the hallway, smirking. She walks slowly, eyebrow raised, before making me step back and meet the wall. She's right there.

"I'm sorry, baby. I came here as soon as I could. Forgive me? I was wrong. I don't want to fight, okay?"

And then she kisses me.

I had my tongue in Bella's mouth no more than ten minutes ago, and now, Lauren's here. Making out with me.

I'm so drunk.

She's my girlfriend. Fuck.

She's kissing me roughly, and in my drunken state I start to respond, when I hear a loud gasp.

I push Lauren away to look in the direction of the sound.

"Bella."

Fucking hell.

"Fuck you, Edward!" Bella shouts and runs.

After I tell Lauren to stay the hell away from me and Rose yells at me... I leave.

I throw up for the next hour. Alcohol and the look of pure anger and pain in Bella's face making me sick.

I surrender to the black, hoping this is all a huge nightmare.

.

.

.

* * *

**A/N: *wipes forehead.* Stay with me, folks... Reserve judgements until I pull you out of the shit storm. Remember, humans are flawed.**


	30. Chapter 30

**SM owns. Unbeta'd.**

**Present time...**

* * *

"Fuck!"

The cafe patrons glare at me again as I pull at my hair watching the last image of her through the window recede and turn the corner.

I think I'm hyperventilating.

 _Do_  I love her?

Do I  _love_  her?

Of course I love her. I always have. She's the best thing that ever happened to me.

Am I  _in love_  with her?

 _Fuck_. Yes. I am. The realization hits me like a ton of bricks.

My memories of her flash before my eyes and I close them feeling at once the happiness and the pain. The times I made her laugh and smile.

The times I made her sad. The times I disappointed her. Every hug. Every  _"I'm sorry."_

I always went back to her.  _Everything_  goes back to her. Always.

What the fuck have I done?

I may have just lost the one person in the world who means anything to me, aside from my family. I've been a shit to her.

I'm not good enough for her.

I love her. I'm in love with her. Looking back on that night, the realization that I may have been in love with her, even then, makes me want to kick my own ass.

I want her but I don't deserve her. Not one bit. I'm such a selfish prick.

What the fuck have I done?

Before I know it, the sky darkens and I'm still sitting at this little table in this cafe. I don't know how long I've been here, but I snap out of it.

I need Bella. I need to get to Bella.

And at at once, I'm out the door and running.

* * *

**A/N: I know you're all still waking up from the Surfward haze of seeing a shirtless, wet Rob running around all Baywatch style. I know I am. ;)**

**We're getting close to the original witfit prompt, with some minor adjustments to the plot, of course. Hang on... the ride's not over.**

**Rec time: _Storm Warning_ by Sydney Alice... Her 40th story... holy shit. Definitely a gem in this fandom. You definitely won't fail reading anything she's written. This one just started but I'm already hooked.**


	31. Chapter 31

**SM owns. Unbeta'd.**

* * *

**The day after my fuck-up...**

I wake up the next day with my sister sitting on the edge of my bed watching me with a scowl on her face.

"Watch it. You'll get wrinkles from frowning all the time," I said gruffly. My mouth feels like nasty-tasting cotton was shoved in it.

"My wrinkles would all be your fault." She hands me two Advils and a bottle of water, which I take eagerly.

"Fuck. My head."

"Yeah. I'm glad you're in pain, asshole."

"Thanks, sis. I can always count on you for moral support."

"What the hell happened last night, Edward?"

"You probably know better than I do. I was plastered. I don't remember much."

"Try and recollect." She means business and she's not happy.

I'm not happy either.

"I know I fucked up with Bella."

"I figured as much. She ran out of the bar after she told me you kissed her. For some reason I don't think that would cause her to leave, so something else happened. What?"

I shake my head, the movement making me hold my head to stop the room from spinning.

"Fuck. Yeah. That I remember. Shit, Rose. I don't know how it happened. It just... we were dancing, and... you know how I get when I drink..."

"That excuse is bullshit, little brother, and you know it. She ran out of there and wouldn't tell me anything. She looked devastated.

I think back to the events last night. And suddenly it comes back to me.

"Fuck, I think I'm gonna be sick." I run to the bathroom and heave into the toilet. There's nothing left to expel. Rose is behind me, leaning against the bathroom doorframe.

"Lauren. Lauren showed up last night... she, fuck. She found me in the bar right after I left B to use the bathroom. She showed up without telling me and she fucking threw herself at me. I was so trashed, Rosie..."

Hot tears sting my eyes as everything from last night starts to come together. I fucked up. Bad.

"B saw you." It was definitely a statement and not a question.

"Yes. She ran out before I could get away from Lauren and get my bearings. Rose, she hates me."

"Yes, probably."

"But she's with Mike still, isn't she?" I look up for confirmation.

"They've been having some issues."

"Damn it," I sit on the floor against the tile wall.

"What do I do, Rose?"

"I wish you two would just talk. You know, for best friends, you both really suck at the job."

"Yeah, I'm aware. Fucking Lauren. What the hell was she trying to pull showing up like that?"

"Who knows. You know I can't stand the chic."

We sit in silence for a bit before I break it.

"I need to talk to B."

"Yes. But you need to shower first and eat. You stink."

* * *


	32. Chapter 32

**SM owns. Unbeta'd.**

* * *

**More of the day-after the shit storm...**

For the next twenty-four hours I try to contact Bella.

Text messages.

Voicemails.

Messages to deliver through mutual friends.

I finally sit and wait in front of her place.

I sit for five hours before I hear the footsteps.

There she is. She freezes when she sees me. I must look like shit.

"You look like shit." Her voice is flat. Lifeless. I hate this. I did this.

"That's a fair assessment."

"What are you doing here, Edward?" She sighs, not looking at me at all.

"I tried calling you, texting you..." I say as I stand to face her.

"I know."

"You ignored me?"

"Yes. I have nothing more to say to you."

"No? Okay, then. I do, though."

"Edward, really, you don't need to explain anything. You have a girl. You were drunk. I should've known."

"Bella, please, just listen. Please?"

She nods once.

"I'm sorry, Bella. I know I say that a lot. But I really fucked up last night. I had a lot to drink and I wasn't using my best judgement. I should never have kissed you..."

That makes her eyes snap to mine. She's angry. Shit.

"Yeah, I know how detrimental that must've for you. Don't worry, you're off the hook," she pushes me out of the way and unlocks her door. Before she can slam it in my face, I stick my foot between it and the doorframe.

"Bella, that's not what I meant. Please." At least it makes her stop pushing. She crosses her arms and looks around uncomfortably, never in my eyes.

"I never meant to disrespect you or your relationship with Mike. I just want you happy, Bella. I don't know why I did what I did last night, but please believe me when I say Lauren came unannounced and cornered me. I didn't know how to react. I wish I could take it all back, but I can't. I can only hope that one day you'll forgive me. I'm sorry, Angelgirl."

"Are you done?"

"Yes." I nod, willing her to look at me.

"I think I need some time away from you."

"What?" My breathing stops.

"Edward, I can't do this anymore. You hurt me last night. And although I know it takes two, and I kissed you back, I just think we need time apart. To live our lives. Try to move on. I need to move on..."

Her face looks tired and sad. Like she's given up.

There's one thing I can do to make things right. And the decision, although the hardest thing ever, is the one decision that would make her happy.

"That's what you want? To move on? Without me in the picture? Just throw our friendship away?" I can hear the sadness in my own voice. This is it. She wants out.

Tears are streaming down her face, and it's breaking my heart. I can't do this to her anymore. I'm toxic.

She only nods silently. There's nothing else to say.

I take a deep breath and pull myself away. I feel like a part of me is dying.

"I'll miss you every single day, Bella. Every single day," I say over my shoulder as I walk out of her life. If she ever wants us back, I'll be right there waiting for her.


	33. Chapter 33

**SM owns. Unbeta'd.**

**Witfit Prompt: "I need a change of pace."**

* * *

**Present time...**

I think of that year without her while I run.

Nothing specific, no particular memory. Just flashes of emotions.

I kicked Lauren to the curb since then. We were always off and on anyway, and she never meant a thing.

I found out from Rose and Alice that Mike cheated on her and she broke up with him.

I reached out to her about three months later.

An email, apologizing for everything, wishing her a happy birthday. It was the first time I'd ever miss one.

But I'm running now because fuck, I don't want to miss anything in this woman's life again.

I want to be right there, next to her, loving her. Only her...

My Angelgirl.

I run up the stairs to Bella's apartment and knock frantically.

The door opens.

"Bella please, I..."

"Edward?"

Alice.

"Huh? Uh, Alice, where's B? I need to talk to her," I pant, looking over her shoulder to peer into the apartment.

"She's not here." She looks surprised to see me.

"Where is she? Please, Bella? Are you here... Please I need to talk just... c'mon!" I shout.

"Woah, woah there, Edward. I'm telling you the truth. She's not here."

"Then where is she? Please, Alice," I'm begging at this point, and I really don't care how it looks.

"You don't know? I thought you of all people would know..." She looks confused.

"What? What, Alice! Spit it out!"

"Okay, jeez! She left an hour ago to the airport!"

"The airport? What the hell for?"

"She's going to Paris. She won a fellowship for six months. Something about painting with the masters or something like that!"

"What? Fuck!" I'm pacing the hall of her apartment. I don't know what to do. Impulse is telling me to go after her. But we all know what my impulses have caused in the past.

"She was pretty upset when she was here. She said, 'I need a change of pace.' What did you do?" She narrows her eyes and crosses her arms.

"She told me she's in love with me..."

"Uh huh, and?"

"What do you mean, 'and?' You knew?"

She rolls her eyes. "Edward, everyone knew."

Great.  _Fucking great_.  _I'm_  the blind one, apparently.

"I love her, Alice. I do. I didn't get a chance to tell her before she stormed out and left. I need her. Please. What flight is she on?"

I'm going after her. She has to know how I feel. She can decide what she wants.

but I  _will_  tell her.

 


	34. Chapter 34

**SM owns. Unbeta'd.**

**This is the a variation of the original witfit I wrote months ago. The whole idea of this story stems from this one prompt.**

* * *

.

I have to get to her.

They said she was heading to the airport. Leaving. Leaving me.

I can't let that happen.

She needs to know.

I've spent too much time letting things go, taking her for granted.

I thought she'd always be there.

I've been a complete asshole.

But this is my last chance.

I fly through the city streets, weaving through traffic.

I silently send my thoughts to her, hoping she can hear them.

_Don't go, Bella._

_Don't go, Bella._

_Don't go, Bella._

I yell at the imbeciles in front of me who've apparently lost all ability to drive, hoping they can hear me.

Finally, my abandon my car, haphazardly parked.

Running through check-in.

Rushing through the crowds of travelers.

I make it past security after buying a ticket to anywhere just to get to her. TSA stares me down like I'm a raving lunatic.

For a moment, I feel lost. I look around, trying aimlessly to focus on things, and I can't.

I look at the boards for departures.

_**American Airlines flight 833 to Paris, France.** _

_**Time- 8:53 P.M.** _

On time. No Delay.

I look at the time on my phone. _8:59._

That's it.

Out of time.

I slump down a nearby bench, panting, head in hands.

I lost her.

"Edward?"

My breathing halts.

I look up.

"Bella?"

Her face is beautiful. She's in shock, eyes wide, lips open slightly.

"Wh.. what are you doing here, Edward?" Her voice quivers. She inches forward, pulling her rolling suitcase.

"Why aren't you on the plane?"

"I got bumped. I actually only have about twenty minutes, so... what? What are you doing here?" She repeats the question, clearly exasperated.

_Okay, Cullen. It's now or never._

I close my eyes, take a deep breath and rise. When I open my eyes, her gaze is intense- her eyes shiny with unshed tears.

"Bella... I love you. I'm in love with you...".

.

.

.

**A/N: OY! Don't hate me. Had to split it up.**

**If you've read the original witfit (in my story list, Ch 4), then you might think you know what happens. You THINK you know...**

**As always, your reviews, pimping on twitter and FB and words of support mean the world to me. It's the reason why I still write. It's the reason I'm still around. xoxo**


	35. Chapter 35

**SM owns. Unbeta'd.**

**Hang on. Tissue warning for the sensitive.**

* * *

.

No response.

"I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry that it's taken me this long to admit it, that I took you for granted."

Silence. Her expression is unreadable.

"I fucked up."

"Yeah. You did," she finally whispers.

"Bella, you're my best friend. You've always been there for me, taking all of my bullshit, accepting all my insecurities. I just can't... you _can't_... Bella, can you please say something?"

Travelers walk quickly around us, the sound of rolling luggage the white noise to this clusterfuck.

"I don't know, Edward," she looks confused.

"Please. Just tell me why you're leaving?"

"I have a fellowship..."

"Bullshit. I want the real reason."

Bella opens her mouth several times, but no words come out. She sighs.

"I couldn't watch you with them anymore."

Her words pierce right through me. All those girls over the years. They mean nothing. Nothing compared to her. I know that now. I always knew that.

Bella is everything. My Everything.

"Only you, Bella." My voice cracks.

Silent tears travel down her cheek.

"I can't bear to lose you, Bella. Please. I know I don't deserve you. I never have, but please." I'm not above begging.

Just then, Bella steps forward, so close we're a breath apart. I lean forward enough to just touch her lips with mine.

Bella closes the rest of the distance. And we kiss. It's starts gentle, hardly-touching. But it quickly spirals into something else.

Full-blown, passion. I want all of her.

Her soft and warm lips turn languorous. I want to stay right here, breathing her air.

"I love you, Edward," she mumbles against my lips. she sniffles and touches my forehead with hers.

And for a moment, everything is right. Until she says the next words.

"But I have to go."

The air escapes me, and everything collapses..

.

.

.


	36. Chapter 36

**SM owns. Unbeta'd.**

**Witfit: Mop**

* * *

**We will now stay in the present from now on...**

**.**

**.**

" _I love you, Edward... but I have to go."_

_I have to go._

_I have to go._

_I have to go._

I'm struck with such a deep-seated pain in my chest as those words echo in my head.

I've fucked up beyond measure.

" _Now boarding American Airlines flight 920 to _Paris_ -Charles de Gaulle  _Airport_  Sections one and two..."_

She's leaving. Walking away from me again. This time, it hurts so much more.

I see her retreating form make its way towards the gate, and I can't just leave it like that.

"I'm not giving up!" I shout over travelers, fussy children, a janitor with mop in hand listening to his little talk radio, and the blaring voice of the attendant overhead.

"I love you, Bella Swan!" My heart's pounding through my chest.

She turns around, her face wet with tears. She just looks at me.

I can't read her face.

But then, there's the slightest turn of her lips. Anyone who didn't know her wouldn't see it.

But I know her. Better than anyone.

I see it.

She wipes her face with one hand and turns to hand her boarding pass to the attendant at the gate.

As she disappears through the gate I'm left with rubble under my feet.

I've never felt heart break until this moment.

And it makes me determined to put the pieces back together.

I will not give up. I don't deserve her. I probably never will.

But fuck me if I won't try to make myself worthy of her.

"I love you, Bella Swan." It's a whisper into the void as I turn around and walk back into my life...

A changed man.

.

.

.

* * *

**A/N: Redemption time, folks.**

**My dear RochelleAllison has new witfit-based stories! If you live under a rock and don't know, she is one of what I call "Gems of the Fandom." You basically can't go wrong with ANYTHING she writes. AND she's a wonderful person to boot. The story's title is " _Brighter, Appease_ " and they're two different stories in one posting. They're already two of my all-time favs.**

**I love you all. xoxo**


	37. Chapter 37

**SM owns. Unbeta'd.**

**Word Prompt: Fantastic**

**Again, we are in present time now.**

* * *

**The night you left me...**

**.**

**FR: E. Cullen (EAC (at) mail (dot) com)**

**TO: Isabella Swan (Swan **B (at) mail (dot) com** )**

**Subject: Us**

_You just left me. Like two hours ago. I know you're on a plane right now and won't get this until the next morning, but I wanted you to understand that I am damn serious about what I said to you before you left. I WILL NOT GIVE UP on us._

_And for the record, I broke up with Lauren. A while ago. Not long after that night last year. There is no one._

_No one but you._

_I love you._

_-Edward_

_PS- I'm hoping that at the very least, you'll share what Paris is like. I want to know everything. I've never been there. I hope you have a fantastic time.._

_._

_._

* * *

**A/N: you know my love for tech-communications. We'll stay in this format for a bit ;)**


	38. Chapter 38

**SM owns. Unbeta'd.**

* * *

**.**

**A week later...**

**.**

**FR: IsabellaSwan@mail.com**

**TO: E. Cullen (EAC@mail.com)**

**Subject: Re: Us**

_Edward,_

_I've been trying to write this for the last few days and I always end up deleting it and am left wordless._

_As much as I'd like to believe you and your intentions, you'll forgive me if I'm having a hard time doing so? I mean, it took you eight years to figure out how you feel about me, and only when you were faced with me taking a plane across the Atlantic._

_The plane ride over was long. I cried. A lot. A nice French lady who was going home to her family from a business trip was very nice, offering me words of wisdom. Although, I don't remember anything that was said that day._

_All I remember was your words. And even now, I don't think I really heard them. I keep thinking it was a dream, or a nightmare. Not sure which._

_Paris is... Paris. It's beautiful, European, stylish, old. The colors here are vibrant, the smells in the air, the people (some nice, some not so nice)... it all makes up what people equally love and hate about this place. I can see the Eiffel Tower from my room. Well, kinda. My view is blocked by another building, but it's there._

_My painting classes start tomorrow. I'm nervous. I feel like I'm out of my league._

_-Bella_

_PS- For the record, there's a part of me that doesn't want you to give up._

_._

_._

_._

* * *

**A/N:** **Ange D'Laube has outdone herself once again and made me a beautiful banner and blinkie set for DELAY. Check it out on my blog[diamondheart78.blogspot.com](diamondheart78.blogspot.com).**

**Fic Rec: _Exposure_  by RandomCran and her hubby, MOG. Seriously. Great story, love the sharp writing. It's still early in the story, but it's already off to a very interesting start. Check it out!**


	39. Chapter 39

**SM owns. Unbeta'd**

**Witfit prompt: Overgrown**

**.**

**A couple weeks later...**

**.**

**FR: E. Cullen (EAC@mail.com)**

**TO: Isabella Swan (SwanB@mail.com)**

**Subject: Re: I've been thinking...**

_Angelgirl,_

_I hope you don't mind that I'm emailing you every day. I notice you don't reply to every single one and I hope it's not making you all weird with me. You'll have to bear with me while I figure out how to woo you from 3,628 miles away._

_The last couple of weeks have kinda sucked. Besides not having you near me, ever since you left, I've chewed out my sister, Em, and Alice. I lost my temper with them since they confessed to knowing about how you felt for years and not telling me anything. They swore up and down that you had sworn them to secrecy. I think that's ludicrous._

_Why wouldn't you want me to know, B? Better yet, how did you expect me to know how you felt? You have to admit, you didn't do a lot of communicating with me when it counted. I almost feel like I was sabotaged... destined for failure in your eyes._

_You tell me you're in love with me and hours later you're on a plane? I didn't even know about this fellowship. How can you call me your best friend if you couldn't even share your good news with me, but Ali and Rose and Em knew all along?_

_Bella, I'm trying not to put the blame on you completely, but was I supposed to just read your mind? It breaks me to think how you must've felt all these years seeing me with other girls. But then again, you dated guys too. I'm so confused._

_Now that I see us with clarity, I'm reliving some memories and connecting the dots. So many signs were there, and I was too stupid, or blind, or I don't know... self-absorbed, to notice what I was doing to you. And for that, I'm sorry._

_I miss you. I miss you so damn much, I can't even think about anything else. Classes began 3 weeks ago, and I can't even focus._

_I'm counting down the days when you'll be back here, close to me. I don't know if you'll want anything to do with me when you return, but I hope you give me a chance._

_I love you._

_Edward._

_PS- Things with the gang are ok now. I apologized for throwing a tantrum like an overgrown baby, and they apologized for keeping things from me. I know they were caught in the middle of all this. They're thrilled that everything's out in the open now, btw. They just want to see both of us happy- either together, or apart. Although I'm hoping for the former, and not the latter._


	40. Chapter 40

**SM owns. Unbeta'd**

**Witfit prompt: Parallel**

* * *

**.**

**FR: Isabella Swan (SwanB@mail.com)**

**TO: E. Cullen (EAC@mail.com)**

**Subject: Re: Re: I've been thinking...**

_Edward,_

_No, I don't mind you emailing me every day. I don't want you to think I'm ignoring you, it's just that things here are a little hectic. You'd think Paris is supposed to be about relaxing and enjoying life. I feel like I've been running non-stop since I got here. I guess it's good, since it doesn't allow me to think about things so much. Don't get me wrong, I still think about... things. Your email really made me analyze everything a little differently. I want to set a few things straight, though._

_At first, I was a little pissed at the way you kinda accused me of being the one to fuck all this up between us over the years. But after the initial anger subsided, I read it again._

_I'm glad you didn't stay mad at our friends too long. It's really not their fault, since like they said, I told them to say nothing. You ask why..._

_I was scared, Edward. You and I were so close, we confided in each other all the time. I always cared about you. You remember how shy I was, and I saw how you were with all the extroverted girls at school. I simply thought I wasn't good enough. I wasn't even your type... you said so yourself. I couldn't be anything other than myself. And I believed at the time I wasn't what you wanted._

_Then over the years, I couldn't bear the thought of telling you, only for you to distance yourself from me. I'd rather have you as a friend, if I couldn't have you romantically. It was pretty masochistic of me now that I think back._

_Over time, I learned to move on. The few guys I did date, they were great. They gave me attention, they were gentlemen. But they weren't you._

_I'm sorry for placing you in a tough spot. I really wasn't planning on telling you at the cafe. I think my emotions got the better of me. I was stressed about the flight, not telling you (which I'll explain in a minute), and feeling frustrated that you just didn't see me. I've always felt as if you didn't see me. ME._

_I didn't tell you about the fellowship because really, we'd been a little distant lately. I was going to tell you about it at my party, but then.. you know what happened. Call it bad timing, fate, whatever._

_Paris is beautiful, hectic schedule notwithstanding. There's a little cafe that's parallel to the hotel we're staying at that makes the best latte I've ever tasted. Better than the ones in Seattle. I've also painted quite a bit. I'm attaching a pic of my latest. It's in front of Notre Dame._

_I miss you too, Edward. You have no idea. Sometimes I wonder if what happened at the airport actually happened, or if it was a dream. I'll confess that I've always fantasized about where we'd be when I finally told you, and what I'd say if you ever told me you loved me. Leaving you that day was the hardest thing I've ever done._

_XO,_

_Bella_

* * *

**A/N: It's so interesting to see how the tide of public opinion has turned with the reviews. Like I said, humans are flawed creatures. The reasons she gave him for never telling him were the exact ones I had for never telling my bff.**


	41. Chapter 41

**SM owns. Unbeta'd.**

**Witfit prompt: listless**

* * *

**Two weeks later...**

**.**

**FR: E. Cullen (EAC (at) mail (dot) com)**

**TO: Isabella Swan (SwanB (at) mail (dot) com)**

**Subject: Skype is the best invention ever.**

_Bella,_

_After the listless weeks of classes, studying, and of missing you, last night changed it all. I've had a smile on my face ever since we skyped 24 hours ago. Seeing your face again after more than a month... I can't tell you how happy I was... am._

_Like I said last night, Paris agrees with you. You're beautiful. But then again, you always were. I always thought you were beautiful._

_I was remembering prom after we "hung up." I remember noticing how your white dress hugged your curves so perfectly. You were my Angelgirl that night. I was an idiot not to realize how even then, you were IT._

_I think I placed you on this high pedestal, under glass. You were too good for me, or at least I kept telling myself that. I always seemed to fuck up where you were concerned, and figured you deserved better._

_That guy you were seeing back then, I don't even remember his name... I wanted to bash his head against the nearest wall._

_I was a selfish bastard. And only when I danced with you, did the night seem completely perfect. I should've known then you owned my heart._

_Seeing you last night, hearing your distinct laugh, seeing that smile... I swear on everything I always want to make you smile like that._

_I can't wait to see you. In person. Only 5 more months to go._

_I love you. Always._

_Edward_

_._

_._

_._

* * *

**A/N: So, how's our Edward doing? There will be a jump at some point in time, so I won't bore you with 5 months worth of emails. I think we all get the picture.**


	42. Chapter 42

**SM owns. Unbeta'd.**

**No witfit today, so Happy Easter ;)**

* * *

**.**

**A week later... Early Morning. Paris.**

**FR: Isabella Swan (SwanB@mail.com)**

**TO: E. Cullen (EAC@mail.com)**

**Subject: Can't sleep.**

_Edward,_

_I couldn't sleep. It's about 5 in the morning and I should be sleeping but I can't. I actually slept maybe an hour before I woke up. I had a sudden urge... a need, to see you. To talk to you. To hear your voice. I've been thinking about how things happened between us. And all this time, I've been blaming you. And when you called me out weeks ago, I was genuinely pissed off at you. But I was wrong so, so wrong._

_Please. If you're still up. I need to talk to you._

_Bella_

_._

_._

_._

* * *


	43. Chapter 43

**SM owns. Unbeta'd.**

* * *

**.**

**Same day. Or night. Or whatever.**

_._

_._

_**Call me. -E** _

I patiently wait for her to call. As patiently as I can. Which is not patient at all. I want to hear her voice so bad.

Just when I think she's chickening out, my phone rings.

"Bella." I might sound a little out of breath.

" _I didn't want to wake you."_

"You didn't. I've been up. I was just studying."

" _Oh, well, maybe we should later instead..."_

"No!" I hear her gasp at my almost-shout.

"No, don't hang up. I need the break. I want to talk," I say, trying to even out my voice so she doesn't freak out.

"Tell me what's wrong, B?" I plead.

" _I miss you."_ Her voice is small and almost like a child's. Her words make me smile.

"I miss you too, Angelgirl." I settle against the my headboard, setting my laptop aside.

" _It's not all your fault, you know."_

"What are you talking about?"

" _What happened. Why it took so long. I haven't been completely fair to you."_

"Bella..."

" _Edward, please, just let me say what I need to say?"_ She doesn't sound mad, just determined. I can hear the exhaustion in her voice, though.

"Okay."

" _All these years, I sat by... waiting for you to look at me that way you looked at all those other girls. And you're right, I completely set you up to fail me. Each and every time. Rose, Alice and even Em, they all kept telling me that I should just be honest and tell you how I felt. And I just couldn't do it."_

"Why couldn't you?" I whisper, unable to find my voice.

" _What if you rejected me? What if you told me we couldn't hang out anymore? You know how stupid we were in high school. And as we got older, I tried to move on, thinking that maybe all this was just some big crush. No matter what I did, who I let myself get close to, they weren't you. That's when I realized I was in love with you for real."_

"But I should've been able to figure it out and not be such a punk, B. I claimed to know you so well. Fuck, I was too busy trying to be the big man on campus. It's funny. Rose mentioned a theory the other day."

" _What's that?"_

"She said that maybe I always had feelings for you and I subconsciously dated girls who were the complete opposite of you in every way..."

" _Why would you do that?"_

"She thinks that maybe it was easier to date girls who didn't resemble you in any way because that way you'd always be too good for me, or unattainable or whatever..."

There's a moment of silence on her end. I think maybe she's fallen asleep.

"Bella?"

" _Yeah, I'm here. Do you think Rose is right?"_  She asks suddenly.

I don't know how to answer that. Do I?

"I don't know. Maybe. I'm fucking clueless half the time. I don't doubt that you women analyze everything to hell."

" _Hey!"_  She protests before laughing.  _"We do, don't we?"_ She says with a sigh.

I've done it. Made her laugh. My lot in life. Sweetest sound ever.

I join her in laughing, and just like that, the heaviness is lifted and we're back to being Edward and Bella., talking about nothing... and everything.

.

.

.


	44. Chapter 44

**SM owns. Not Beta'd.**

**Witfit prompt: Material**

* * *

**.**

**About a month later...**

**.**

"So things are going quite well, I presume?" Rose teases as she bats her lashes dramatically.

I sigh. "They're going as good as I could hope to expect at this point, if that makes sense." I sit on her couch while Em plays on the Xbox on the opposite end.

"Dude, I wouldn't worry. B's been gah gah over you for years and taken your shit for years. Just give her a chance to deal with her own shit for a while. She loves you."

"Oooh, babe, look at you being all philosophical," Rose coos as she sits between us, snuggling against him while the sound of punches and grunts from Street Fighter fill the air.

"Nah. It's not that complicated, people. Edward and Bella have always been like magnets, you know? Even in school. This dick over here was just too busy getting it wet to notice," he replies, his arm reaching behind my sister and shoving me. Amazing how he never takes his eyes off the screen.

"Speaking of. I saw Lauren today at the Starbucks next to work yesterday. Bitch came right up to me and asked me about you. Like, the audacity. I hate her. She knows this." Rose rolls her eyes while sipping her glass of wine.

I groan. "She's called me a few times."

Rose glares at me.

"Please. gimme some credit, Sis. I ignored the calls. And the texts. All ten of them," I say, absentmindedly rubbing the material on one of the cushions.

"Fucking ten? Well, that's just perfect because I told her to fuck off and I also told her you were finally with the person you were supposed to be with," Rose says smugly, wiggling her eyebrows.

"You didn't."

"I did, and it felt fucking great."

"Yeah! That's my girl!" Em finishes his game right before tackling her like an animal.

I'm actually kind of proud of Rose. She's always got my back.

"Well, I told her a while back I wanted nothing more to do with her. She doesn't get it."

"Ha! Well, she will now. She won't mess with you anymore. I promise."

"Rose..." I say in a warning tone.

"What? I wasn't rude... much," she confesses before erupting in loud laughter.

After a while longer, I say my goodbyes and head home.

I feel like calling my Angelgirl.

.

.

.

* * *

**A/N:** **I have a fic rec, if you're interested:**

**To Have and To Hold by Shahula: I love this one. I actually found out about it after watching "Something Borrowed" on cable other day, and mentioned on Twitter how I would love someone to fic the hell out of it. And lo and behold, my girl Shahula told me she had one that was loosely based on it :) There are similar elements, but it's really a different story. I honestly think it's awesome. Give it a shot!**


	45. Chapter 45

**SM owns. Not Beta'd.**

**Witfit prompt: Nuance**

* * *

**That afternoon...**

.

" _Hey."_  She picks up on the first ring.

"Hey."

She sighs. _"I really needed to hear your voice."_

"What's wrong, Angelgirl? You okay?"

" _Yeah. I guess. I think I'm just a little homesick. I miss New York. I miss my apartment. I... I miss you. I really miss you, Edward."_ There's the slightest nuance of sad desperation in her voice that makes me want to climb through the receiver and get to her.

"I miss you too, Angel. Hey, only four months to go, yeah?"

" _Yeah."_ She's not convinced at all.

"Tell me about your paintings." I'm able to divert her for a bit about what she's painting, what she's experienced.

" _I tried escargot for the first time today."_

"Oh yeah? Whatcha think? Any good?"

" _I didn't think snails would be appetizing, but you know, when in Rome... or Paris, and all that. But yeah, they were good. Really good. They were all buttery, garlicky... just, mmmmm."_

She moans. She fucking moans.

Little Edward is quite awake at this point.

"Shit, B, don't do that," I groan. There's a bit of silence before she responds.

" _Do what?"_ She says quietly.

"Do  _that_. Moan like that. You don't know..."

" _Don't know what?"_ Is she seriously clueless or is she just fucking with me?

I breathe deeply through the receiver.

"Bella, you don't know how badly I want to see you... touch you. Kiss you. You can't make noises like that because, I... I can't promise to be a good boy and not think about you, later... like when I'm alone, in the shower and shit.

I can actually hear the light bulb in her head turn on when she gasps.

" _Do you think about me, Edward? Like, like that?"_  She sounds shocked.

I decide to be honest. All honesty now. All the time.

"Yes. Yes, Angeligrl. All the time," I choke out.

Then, my girl says something that sets me on fire.

" _Tell me what you do. Tell me what you think about."_

_._

_._

_._

* * *

**A/N: Naughty, naughty Bella? Hmm... Maybe she's not so clueless?**


	46. Chapter 46

**SM owns. Not Beta'd.**

* * *

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What did she just say?

"Y.. you want to know what I think about?" I blink.

She hesitates.  _"Yeah. I really do."_

"What exactly do you want to know, Angelgirl?" Doesn't she know she's playing with fire right now?

" _Edward..."_  Her whispery, breathy voice forces me to immediately press down on my dick. This girl...

"Bella. Don't you know? You are in every dream, every fantasy. I want you here. With me. I want to touch you. Everywhere."

Her breathing is louder over the phone.

" _Edward, really?"_

"Do you?"

" _Do I what?"_

"Do you think about me... like _that_?" I drop my voice. I love the way I'm affecting her.

She snorts nervously. She's so fucking cute. And sexy.

" _All the time. Even before..."_

"Shit. Bella, where are you right now?"

" _I'm in bed."_

Fuck me.

"What are you wearing?

There's silence. I momentarily freak out that I've pushed her too far. Then...

" _A pink tank top and panties."_

I don't hesitate.

"Take them off. Right now."

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* * *

**A/N: Doh! Cockblocked. Sorry. I'll try to make it up to you.**


	47. Chapter 47

**SM owns. Not beta'd.**

* * *

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" _Wh... what?"_  She's breathes into the phone.

"Take them off, Angelgirl."

More silence.

"B, listen. I don't want you to do anything you don't want to." I mean it.

" _I know."_

"Bella, love, Have... has anyone. I mean, have you ever..."

" _Um. Well, we tried once. I just felt kind of ridiculous. And I couldn't, you know..."_

The anger that rises from somewhere inside me just thinking that one of her moron boyfriends attempted to get her off over the phone is unreasonable.

Must be corrected.

"Angelgirl. What if I told you it would be different with me?"

She sighs.  _"Somehow, I believe that. Totally."_

Her knowing that makes me smile wide and big.

"I'll make it good for you."

" _Okay."_

"Did you take your clothes off?"

I hear rustling, then...

" _Yes."_

"I want to be there so bad, Bella. _My_  Bella."

"Me too. I miss you so much."

"Are you lying down?"

" _Yeah."_

I lay down and quickly take off my jeans and shirt, keeping my boxers on. I notice my dick is already getting hard. We're actually going to do this.

"Okay. Whatever I ask you to do, Angelgirl, I want you to always imagine me doing them, yeah?"

She breathes a little harder. I'm already getting her worked up with just a few innocent words. She has no idea what's about to happen.

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	48. Chapter 48

**SM owns. Not beta'd.**

**No witfits today.**

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.

"Close your eyes. Take your hand and touch your neck softly. Drag it down in between your breasts for me. I'm doing that to you, Bella."

I hear her breathing and a little moan escape her lips and that's all it takes for me to be completely hard.

"Does that feel good, love?"

"Mm. Yes."

I tell her rub her nipples slowly, tugging, first one, then the other, then both. Her sounds are driving me crazy as I start to palm myself.

"Oh, Edward," she moans.

"Fuck," I mutter.

"Are... are you, you know... touching yourself too?" Bella sounds a little surprised. Or excited. I can't really tell over the phone.

"Yes, Angelgirl. You have no idea what you're doing to me. What the sounds coming out of your sweet mouth are doing to me."

I hear her make another little moan.

"What are you doing, Bella? Where are your fingers now?"

"On my stomach."

"Move them down, love. Touch yourself where you want to feel it."

I know she's doing exactly what I tell her to when she gasps. I lower my boxers completely and take my cock in my hands and start to stroke.

"B, imagine it's me touching you right there, where you want me to. Can you?"

"Uhuh," she breathes. "Oh, God..."

"I want you to push your finger into your pussy for me. Are you wet for me?"

I hear a lot of panting. My hand squeezes and twists my dick just thinking about what she's doing to herself.

"Answer me, love," I command.

"Yes! I'm wet. So wet."

"Drag your wet fingers over your clit, Angelgirl. Make yourself feel good for me. I want to hear you. It's me, Bella. Let go."

We continue like this a little more before I hear her higher pitched mewls echo through the phone. She's right there. And so am I.

"Bella, baby... I'm gonna come. I want you to come with me. Do you think you can do that? Fuck!"

"Nngg, yes. Yes. I'm coming... oh, Edward!"

"Shit!"

What follows is the most exquisite set of sounds that I've ever heard. Holy shit. She sounds fucking perfect.

I come hard, chanting her name and wishing I was there with her.

There are a few moments of silence. Well, heavy breathing, but no words. After a bit, I call to her.

"Bella? You there?"

"I think I'm dead."

I chuckle. This girl. She's still Bella. My Bella. I love this girl.

"I love you." Because I just have to say it.

Then, I hear her say what I've been dying to hear since she left.

"I love you too, Edward. So much."

That's it. I'm getting on a fucking plane. I can't handle four more months of this shit.

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* * *

**A/N: So... I'll be... you know, over here... and stuff. I hope that was of your liking. Hard to write citrus within 500 words.**


	49. Chapter 49

**SM owns. NOT BETA'S**

**Witfit prompt: Rapid**

* * *

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.

Thanksgiving comes and goes and unfortunately I can't get to Bella just yet.

I had to dodge questions about Bella from my parents during that dinner, all while watching Rose and Em in the background snicker at my uncomfortable position.

It's not that I hadn't wanted my parents to know about my new-found feelings for Bella, or our budding relationship as something other than friends, but I knew if my mother, who absolutely  _adored_  Bella knew, she'd already be reserving the country club hall for our wedding.

Not that I couldn't see marrying B, because really... who else would it be?

But I knew we weren't quite there yet. No, first I had to get to her.

Which is where I find myself now. Looking at online flight prices when I should really be studying.

Bella can't come home for Christmas. But what she doesn't know is that I'm bringing it to her.

I don't know how I'm going to pull it off. But as I stare at medical journals and flashcards thrown haphazardly over my desk, I know I have to get my shit together and pass my classes with flying colors.

She misses me. She loves me. She tells me all the time when we talk, email or Skype. We haven't tried doing what we did  _that_ time in a few weeks, and she'd told me she didn't feel comfortable trying it with Skype.

No matter. In a couple of weeks, I'd be there. In person.

I'll surprise her.

With the rapid beating of my heart in my ears, I click "book flight" as I'm that much closer to being with my Angelgirl.

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* * *

**A/N: So... everyone's on board with him going to Paris, right? Yeah. Just checking ;)**

**Fic recs:**

**_Accidentally in Love_  by Missus T: Just started, but showing LOADS of promise :)**

**_Any Way the Wind Blows_  by Miss Baby: Totally unique plot and characterizations. Can't wait to see more of this. This one needs review love!**


	50. Chapter 50

**SM owns. Unbeta'd.**

**Witfit prompt: Suffer**

* * *

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.

So having to explain to my parents why I wouldn't be spending Christmas with the family was interesting.

The phone call to Mom went a little something like this:

"Hey Mom, I need to talk to you about the holidays."

" _Yes! I'm so looking forward to seeing you, dear."_

"Um, yeah. That's just the thing. See, I don't think I'll be able to make it this year."

Silence.

" _What do you mean, sweetheart?"_

"I... I need to go to Paris, actually."

More silence.

" _I'm sorry, Edward. I must've heard incorrectly. Call it old age, but I thought you said you had to go to Paris,"_  she chuckles.

I laugh nervously along with her. I'm just going to have to lay it all on the table for her.

"Mom, you remember I told you Bella's painting in Paris for six months, well, she's got four months left actually..."

" _Yes, you told me. Go on."_

Her tone. Hmm. There's no way she could already know...

"Yeah, uh, so before she left she and I... she kinda told me... Uh, we..."

" _She loves you."_

This time, the silence is from me.

" _Edward, are you there, dear?"_

I cough.

"Uh, yeah, I'm here. Yeah. She told me how she felt and I... well, I kinda told her..."

" _You're in love with her too."_  This time, I could totally hear the smile in her voice. I know my mother very, very well.

Apparently, she knows me better.

"You knew, didn't you?" I sigh. Resigned.

She chuckles again.

" _Oh, thank goodness. I was wondering how much longer it would take for you two to figure things out."_

"Hmm. Okay, so everyone among our family and friends knew all this time and neglected to tell the parties involved. Wonderful."

" _Oh, Edward, don't be a baby. You two are grown, consenting adults now. I don't think you were ready to know your own feelings until you yourself were ready to face it. I'm glad it finally came to fruition."_

I roll my eyes. My mother.

"Um, so. About Christmas..."

" _Does she know you're going?"_

"No. I was hoping to surprise her."

" _I hope she doesn't have the same ideas."_

"I thought about that. Both Alice and Rose spoke to her recently and she'd mentioned how she couldn't leave for the holidays. The fares being so expensive and all."

" _Oh, my dear son,"_  she gushes.  _"I'm so proud of you. Such a romantic. You're just like your father."_

She's crazy but she's always on my team.

" _Go, Edward. Go and get your girl. We love Bella, she's already a part of this family, you know that. Oh, it'd be so nice to finally call her my daughter..."_

Here we go. This was what I was afraid of.

"Mom, don't start..."

" _...I wonder if the country club is open. Oh, could you imagine a beautiful Fall wedding? Oh..."_

And she just keeps on and on for a bit. Rapid fire. That's my mother.

"Mom!"

" _Yes, dear?"_

"I gotta go."

" _Oh, Yes! Go, go! Oh, Christmas in Paris, Oh!"_

I facepalm myself before saying my goodbyes.

"Love you, Mom. I'll call once I'm there."

" _We love you too, dear. And Bella. We love Bella. Send her my love."_

"I will. Bye."

I end the call and smile.

I really hope this works. I can't suffer another month without Bella. I won't survive.

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* * *

**A/N: Ok, so that went a little longer than I wanted. But I love Esme so much in this story, I had to let her have her say.**


	51. Chapter 51

**SM owns. Not Beta'd**

* * *

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I look up at the signs in both English and French pointing towards the taxis and lug my one bag on my shoulder.

It's fucking freezing once I'm outside. I taxi queue is pretty long so I tug at my wool jacket and pull my beanie down over my ears.

Once inside the taxi and directions are given to my hotel, I text my sister.

_**I'm here. Headed to hotel now. Have you heard from her? -E** _

Minutes later, she responds.

_**Yep. She's staying in tonight. She says the roommates are ordering in and watching movies. -R** _

_**Wish me luck. -E** _

_**Break a leg. We're all rooting for you ;) -R** _

_**Thanks. Goodnight ;) -E** _

Once I'm checked in and resting for a moment on the bed of my hotel room, I send Bella a text.

_**I miss you. -E** _

_**Aww. Can't sleep? You're up awfully late. I miss u too btw :) -B** _

_**No. Not much sleep happening right now. I wish I could hold you. Kiss you. See your face. -E** _

_**I wish that too. I wish I were home with everyone, and you. -B** _

_**Soon, Angelgirl. Very soon ;) -E** _

I smile. My plan is in full effect. I shower, shave, dress and head out the door. Alice's text with Bella's address in hand.

Here goes nothin'.

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* * *

**A/N: Thank you all so much for you reviews, pimping, tweets, etc. It really does make my day that you care to read this!**


	52. Chapter 52

**SM owns. NOT BETA'D. :)**

**Witfit prompt: Snag**

* * *

.

Her flat's located on the second floor and on my way up I can hear laughing and chatting.

I slow when I also hear a couple of male voices in the mix.

_It's okay, Edward. She's allowed to have guy friends. She's had you as a best friend for years, so it shouldn't matter._

But we never really were "just friends" either.

I reach the door and my heart's in my throat. I'm both extremely fucking nervous and anxious to see her at the same time. I just want to fucking hold her. Kiss the fuck out of her.

I knock and immediately the chatter ceases. The door opens and a sweet-looking redhead smiles.

"Can I help you?" She asks in a weird accent. Can't tell where she's from.

"Uh, Yeah. Hi. I'm looking for Bella Swan?" I say, my eyes glancing over her shoulder to find several people lounging on the sofa looking over at me with curious stares.

"Bella? Yes, Bella's here. May I ask who you are?"

I clear my throat. "I'm, I... I'm Edward."

Recognition hits her quickly, as her gray eyes widen, her mouth agape.

"Oh, you're Edward. Just... just a moment. Come in for a moment while I get her. She's in the kitchen.

"Thank you," I nod, catching the looks from the spectators on the couch. I half-wave at them, my lips in a tight smile. I busy myself picking at a snag in my dark gray sweater.

Then, I hear her voice.

"Maria, why are you being so weird, what do you mean I have a vi..."

Breathing. It's hard to do right now.

Her eyes are bright and huge, shocked I think. Yes, I believe that's her shocked face. I smile a little because it's kinda funny that we're both speechless. All my practiced words and declarations have flown out the window.

"E... Edward?" She gasp-whispers.

"Surprise," I say simply. The world around us disappears.

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* * *

**A/N: See, it's called DELAY for a reason. For several reasons, actually. I write chapters as they come to me, and I end them where it feels natural. I don't want to rush anything. Hell, they've waited almost ten years, what's another couple chapters, right? RIGHT?**

**Fic rec:**

**_My Wounded Solider_  by Counselor. But Most of you knew that, didn't you? I love Edward and strong Bella. No doubt. If you like period fic, this is a good one, and it's COMPLETE ;)**


	53. Chapter 53

**SM owns. NOT BETA'D**

**Witfit Prompt: Filter**

* * *

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The room is so silent that I only hear my own nervous breathing.

"W-what are you doing here?" Her smile is growing as I see recognition grow on her face. Just when I'm about answer her, she's coming at me.

I almost fall on my ass as the force of her body colliding with mine send me back until I hit the closed door behind me.

"Oooomf!"

"Oh my God, oh my God," She whisper-chants in my ear. The heat of her breath washes over me and sends shivers through me, in a very good way.

She's completely wrapped around me as I instinctively hold on to her ass.

"Hi, Angelgirl," I whisper back, smiling like an idiot and inhaling her apple scent.

"Edward, you came here? F-for me?" She leans away to finally look at me. Her eyes are shiny and full of tears.

"Of course I did, love. I didn't want you spending Christmas by yourself. And I didn't want to be away from you anymore. I missed you, B." I touch my nose with hers as she sighs.

Starting to feel the strain of holding her up and noticing that all eyes are still on us. The scene is actually pretty comical. Four pairs of eyes like owls framing a Christmas tree in front of a window where the city lights filter through. They're frozen in place.

I reluctantly burst our little bubble.

"Hey, Angelgirl. You gonna introduce me to your friends or what?"

Bella snaps out of it and shakes her head. "Oh, my God. Of course!"

She slowly lowers her feet to the ground, quickly grabbing my hand in hers and leading me to the people she's called friends for two months.

"Everyone, this is Edward. He's my, my..." She hesitates, seemingly stuck on the word she wants to say. I want her to say it. I want to say it.

So I do.

"Her boyfriend. I'm her boyfriend."

There's a deep warmth that spreads through me at the declaration. And when I glance at Bella, her face is lit like the lights on their Christmas tree.

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	54. Chapter 54

**SM owns. NOT BETA'D. :)**

**Witfit prompt: Bag**

* * *

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I'm introduced to her roommates.

There's Maria, the one from Colombia.

Then I'm introduced to Ian, a flamboyantly gay painter from London, and Alistair.

Alistair is not gay.

The way he eyes me and shakes my hand tells me he's not too happy to see me.

He's Australian, and I'm completely comfortable enough with my sexuality to admit the guy looks like he could get as much skirt as George Clooney.

But I'm not intimidated. Much.

I really don't give a shit about him at this point, I just need some alone time with my Bella.

All the others in attendance are just here to chill and wave a general hello in my direction.

"If you'll excuse us," Bella says, pulling me towards the little hall to the side which I hope leads to her bedroom.

She closes the door behind us once we're in the pitch black room and I'm overcome with the sheer weight of what I'm doing here.

I'm here to be with Bella, my girl... My Angelgirl, because I love her. No, I'm  _in love_  with her.

It still floors me.

"Lemme just turn on a lamp..." I grab her wrist and gently pull her back, not allowing her to finish the thought or action because I need to feel her... I need to feel this is real.

She gasps before I press my lips to hers. She stills for a split second before reacting and relaxing in my arms.

This kiss starts out soft and slow, only to intensify within a breath before we're all over each other. Her little sounds, fuck me, those sounds are for me.

"Edward, I can't believe you're here," she breathes into my mouth when we break for air.

"This has to be some kind of dream. You don't know how many times I dreamt of this." Her words are little pants as I lead her blindly, hoping to hit the bed that has to be around here somewhere.

"This is no dream, Angelgirl. I couldn't be away from you anymore. I wanted to spend Christmas with you, and all the other days after that." I know I'm making know sense, but the feel of her warm, perfect skin as I inch them under her soft sweater and the sweet smell of her as I nuzzle her neck is just too much.

She lets out a tiny moan as my legs finally hit what I hope is a bed and I gently turn her until her back is to it. She knows what I want, or wants exactly the same thing, because she lowers herself as she pulls me down with her.

No more words. We've talked enough. I want her. I want her to know it.

As I push my hard dick against her there's a soft knock at the door.

"Bella, I'm really, really sorry, but I really need to use the bathroom," says the disembodied and distorted voice of a girl.

"Shit," Bella exhales loudly. "That's Maria. This is our room and it's our only bathroom."

Well, fuck. Talk about killing my moment.

"Pack a bag. I'm taking you back to my hotel."

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	55. Chapter 55

**SM owns. NOT BETA'D.**

**Witfit prompt: DELAY (I kid you not)...**

* * *

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If you were to tell me about three years ago that I would be where I am at this moment, I'd laugh in your face.

But as I take quick stock of what's happening, I'm not laughing.

Not at all.

I honestly don't remember giving the taxi driver instructions back to my hotel.

I  _do_  remember what her lips felt like... tasted like.

I don't remember walking through the lobby and into the elevator.

I  _do_  remember pressing her against the elevator wall and feeling her soft curves and hearing her little sounds.

I also remember her hands gripping my hair almost painfully as I ground against her.

I should be petrified. The old me would be flipping the fuck out right now.

Sex... with Bella. My best friend.

But I'm not. Not at all.

Her pants are peeled off so I can feel her soft as fuck legs as she straddles me on the bed.

So warm. So soft. Everything about her is soft. I'm addicted. How did I pass this up for years? I'm such an idiot.

"You're so beautiful," I pant into her mouth, pulling myself up to sit, our chests pressed close together as I kiss her hard. I love the quiet moans she makes when one of my hands moves to wrap around her, settling on her perfect ass. My other hand moves up and down her side, feeling the softness of her little sweater.

"I missed you so much," I whisper against her chest. Her hands are in my hair again, and I think it's the best fucking things ever.

"Oh, God. Edward, is... Is this really happening? This is what you want? Because, this is it for me, you know that, right?"

I move to look at her right in the eye. My fingers caress her cheeks then her bottom lip, swollen from my kisses.

"Bella, I love you. I flew eight hours to get to you. This is not a quick fuck for me. You were _never_  that for me. You were always different. You are what I want. You are everything to me now. No more delay. I don't want to wait anymore. But I will, if you want to take this slower. I'd be just as happy to lie next to you and hold you all night. I'm not going anywhere." My voice is raspy, my throat tight.

Her expressive dark eyes fill with wetness and I immediately wipe a tear from her cheek.

"I don't want to wait." She says, clearly into the darkness.

Then she leans away and takes her sweater off. The she takes her bra off.

She's perfect. And I do what I can to show her she's perfect. Because I'm done with words.

She pulls at my long sleeve shirt and I help until it's off.

"Take these off," she commands, and I quickly maneuver to somehow take my pants off. I'm about to take my underwear off before her hand slips down and presses down  _there._

"Fuck," I groan. Her perfect little hand feels so fucking good I can barely move.

When I'm completely bare to her I flip her over gently and peel off her panties. My fingers wander to feel her wet and so fucking warm and soft. She gasps and pulls me down to kiss her. I oblige.

"Fuck, you feel so good, Angelgirl. My angel..."

"Please..." She pleads.

She's soft everywhere. Like I said: I'm addicted. I want to taste her so bad, but not now. Now, I want inside.

When I'm right at her entrance, I make a point of looking at her, I want to see her. I need to.

Her legs wrap around me, pulling towards her. She wants me.

"I love you, Bella," I say before pushing inside.

My head drops into her neck, my eyes shut tight. Fuck, how is feeling this good even possible?

"Holy shit, B. Holy shit..."

This is beyond anything I've ever experienced. Ever.

Watching her come undone under me, her beautiful face flushed, bright, and alive... it's pure... just pure.

Feeling the warmth of her sleeping body next to me later...

I'm in love. I love her so fiercely, I'm in awe.

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* * *

**A/N: So there's that.**

**Thoughts?**


	56. Chapter 56

**SM owns. NOT BETA'D.**

**This right here is what is called lemony fluff. I hope that's not a problem for anyone. *shifty eyes***

* * *

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My head rests on smooth, warm skin. My arm's draped over this soft and perfect pillow and as my eyes open slightly, they focus on the cute-as-fuck belly button that rises and falls.

Breathing.

I feel fingers deep in my hair, their tips lightly scratching and massaging my head. It feels fucking amazing and I don't want it to stop so I lay there, pretending to be asleep as I take in the rest of the room. The very early morning light casts a cool blue glow over everything, including her bare body.

It's the body my hands roamed and explored. It's the skin my mouth and my tongue tasted, however briefly.

Too brief, I think. Last night our emotions spilled over and as a result, our first time together had been all too short in my book.

I needed to take my time. I needed.

I need.

Speaking of, my  _need_  is currently making itself abundantly clear against her thigh and I'm sure by now she knows I'm awake. She hasn't stopped her attention to my hair, though.

I turn my head slightly until my lips find her belly button. I lay very gentle, light kisses there as my arm tightens around her waist. When I hear her sigh and a tiny little moan escapes her, my body reacts immediately.

As my mouth trails higher and higher, I feel her legs spread a little wider.

When I finally reach her chest, I stop and take my time, my hands reaching, touching her bare tits. I take one into my mouth listening to her reactions, feeling her body rise and fall with desire. Her hands start to travel down my neck and back as her legs once again pull me more against her.

Both of us still naked from hours before, I'm at her entrance feeling the inviting heat of her.

"Good morning," I whisper in her ear as I kiss and her there, my voice sounding raspy and sleepy.

"Gumorn... ungg..."

She breaks out into goosebumps all over. I might have smiled smugly at that.

I'm determined to take my time so when I push, I do so achingly slow. I want to feel every inch of her. I want to know everything.

I won't lie, though. The more animal side of me wants to fuck her until I make her scream my name.

But I'm not an animal. I'm a man in love with the most perfect girl in the world.

She sighs and gasps and begs for more, and when I'm completely filling her, I fight instinct and stay still.

"Open your eyes, Angel."

When her eyes flutter open, I lean down and kiss her lightly first, then it grows into slow, sexy licks and tiny bites until it feels like we're both consuming each other.

Then I start to move- a slow, steady pace that allows our lips to stay connected.

When we both can't take it anymore, I speed up, my hand reaching down and rubbing her where she wants it until I see her gorgeous face of ecstasy. And yes, she does scream out my name.

I follow soon after, falling heavy at her side, bringing her up to snuggle against me.

I close my eyes and fall asleep with a fucking dopey smile on my face.

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* * *

**A/N: Thoughts? I think the boy's smitten. I lurve him. Y'all will have to fight me for him.**


	57. Chapter 57

**SM owns. NOT BETA'D.**

**Witfit prompt: Rush**

* * *

**.**

We sleep for another few hours before we're up and she checks her phone.

"Anything new and exciting? I ask, still in bed, my voice still raspy from sleep.

She she looks at me briefly and smiles shyly as she looks at her screen again, tapping away.

"Just my roommate. Wanted to know if I was alive."

I sit up against the headboard. I smile. Bella's all glowy- hair a sexy mess, wearing my shirt, legs stretching for miles, and the morning light casting a real fucking halo around her. See? She's really is an angel.

"C'mere," I say, gesturing for her to come back to bed, come back to me.

She smiles and places the phone down. When she crawls back to me she straddles my hips and rests her arms on my shoulders, hands in my hair... where the should be.

I groan and close my eyes in response to her fingers and she giggles.

"So are you in a rush at all today?" I say, finally coming to.

"No. My friends are planning a little Christmas Eve thing tonight, but I really don't want to go. I don't want to share you. I feel like I'll never have enough time with you." She kisses my lips lightly, resting her forehead against mine.

The fact that I do have to return to the States does loom over our heads but I try to put that away for now. I'm here, she's here. That's all that matters.

"Show me Paris." I request simply.

"Hmm. What do you want to see?"

"Whatever you want to show me. I'm yours until the second."

"Wow. Nine days. That's a lot of sight-seeing," she teases.

"Well, I really hope sight-seeing includes a lot more of seeing you naked."

She swats my arm playfully. She's embarrassed. Her blush blooms all over.

"Please. Please don't tell me you're still shy about this after last night."

"I'm not," she protests. I give her a knowing look. She sighs.

"Okay, maybe I am a little bit. But really, do you blame me? Just months ago I was freaking out that maybe I'd never have the guts to tell you how I felt or have you return those feelings. And here we are. It's just... a little surreal, you know?"

I wrap my arms around her waist, my hands splayed against her back as I bring her close- her body flush with mine.

"I love you. This is real. I was a complete dick for years, and I totally deserve you to kick me to the curb and tell me to fuck off after what I put you through all these years. I'm the luckiest son of a bitch anywhere."

She kisses me and I give in. We're consumed with each other again and I can't control myself when I feel her grind her hips against me.

We'll do sight-seeing... Later.

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**A/N: Forgive the lies. I said I would update that night and I didn't. Truthfully, I was exhausted and fell asleep. And the weekend was a little rough.**


	58. Chapter 58

**SM owns. NOT BETA'D**

**Witfit prompt: Boredom**

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It's well into the late morning when we do finally decide to sightsee. It's cold out, so we bundle up and settle into one of the many cafes for some coffee and croissants.

Paris is... Paris. We visited years ago when Rose and I were kids. That was the time when my parents tried to take us somewhere new every summer so we could be "cultured human beings." That, of course, ended when we got to college, but those trips were some of the best memories of my life.

We avoid the Louvre like the plague because really, it's a huge motherfucking museum that would easily take two days to see, and we've both already seen the major paintings there. Bella already tackled the entire museum her first week here. I let her fill me in on her favorites as we finish breakfast. I love listening to her talk excitedly about the things she's passionate about. Her eyes widen and shine with enthusiasm, her hands gesturing all over the place. She's always been like this, and I've always loved it.

We spend the rest of the day alternating between walking in the cold and escaping into the small bakeries and stores to thaw out. The city looks incredible with the sights of the holidays all around. It's Christmas Eve, so even the normally crabby Parisians are pretty chill. There's no chance for boredom with a city this big and full of life.

My gift for B is back at the hotel. I'm planning to give it to her in tonight. It took me forever to figure out what to give her, but I think I managed to pick out the perfect gift for her.

"Okay, I think I've seen enough of Paris for today. I'm ready to see a little more of you right now. What do you say, Angelgirl?" I nuzzle her neck, my chin pushing down on her scarf to reach her warm skin.

"Mmmmm," she moans, shivering from the cold, or from me, I'm not sure and I don't care. "Yes, let's go. But can we stop by my place first so I can get some stuff? Something tells me I won't be there a lot this week," she giggles, wrapping her arms tight around my neck.

"Love, if I had it my way, you'd be flying back home with me."

I don't mean to really blurt it out like that. When Bella leans away a bit to look at me, I want nothing more than to kiss the sadness away from her face.

"Hey, don't be sad, Angel. I know things are the way they are for a reason. You'll be home soon, really soon. Three more months will pass in the blink of an eye and before you know it, I'll be waiting for you at the airport back home waiting for you. Then, we start the rest of our lives." I pause, suddenly understanding the gravity of those words. I don't want to push her, but I'd be lying if I said I didn't want to be with Bella for the rest of my life. "That is, if that's what you want..."

Bella's smiles grows sweetly on her beautiful lips as her gloves hands frame my face.

"Yes. Yes, that's what I want. That's exactly what I want."

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**A/N: SO much sweetness, I think I'm getting cavities.**

**We're in the home stretch now, people... probably like 3-5 chapters left. Thank you for loving Delayward as much as I do.**

**Fic rec:**

**_The Runner_  by Coldplaywhore: You really can't go wrong with anything she writes. This one just started, but I'm already interested. Looks like it's gonna be an interesting road trip ;)**


	59. Chapter 59

**SM owns. NOT BETA'D.**

**Witfit Prompt: Bistro**

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"I want to take you to this little bistro a few miles from my place. Seriously, the best food I've ever had," Bella rambles as we enter her apartment.

As expected, her roommates are prepping for their little Christmas Eve gathering. A part of me feels bad she'll miss this. The other is damn happy she'll be with me instead.

"Hey! You two lovebirds coming up for air enough to join us tonight?" Ian asks, almost singing. He's placing garland on their tree.

"Actually, Ian, I'm not going to be here tonight, we kinda..."

"Oh, Bella Baby, say no more. I'd do the same thing in your shoes. So how long are you gonna be a stranger?" Ian climbs down the step stool and saunters over to her.

"Um, I won't be scarce, but we'll be staying at his hotel for the next week or so," Bella says as her voice echoes in the hall and into her bedroom.

Ian eyes me.

"So you're the fool who didn't know what was in front of you in time, eh?"

I chuckle and look down, nodding. "Yep. That would be me."

"Well, you're here now, so that's a grand gesture if I ever seen one. We've grown to love Bella here, so I will not be averse to kicking your ass if you hurt her again." Ian's perfectly groomed eyebrow arches, making his point very clear. He's a big guy. He probably could kick my ass.

"That's no gonna happen, but thanks for caring. I'm glad she's got friends keeping her company."

"We're all here for her, Edward," Maria suddenly exclaims, waltzing in from the kitchen.

"She told us the whole story one night when we all got different levels of wasted. I know how long this took to become a reality. And as much as think you were a moron for not seeing what you two could be, I gave it to her straight and told her she was just as much at fault as you..."

Just as I'm about to argue, Ian gestures for me to zip it. I quickly clamp my lips shut.

"She expected for you to just  _know_ she felt something for you. You can't read her mind, Edward, and I told her so. She should've put on her big girl panties and told you a lot sooner. That's all I'm saying." Ian shakes his head and walks over to help Maria.

"She was a mess when she first arrived. I felt terrible for her. She was sad, always moping about. I think she'll be happy now, no?" Maria said in her thick, hispanic accent.

That was a promise I could keep. "I certainly hope so. I intend to keep her happy. Always."

I look over to find Bella standing still, bag in hand and wearing a watery smile.

"How much did you hear?" I asked, fighting the urge to smirk.

"Enough," she says walking towards me and kissing me gently.

"Let's go."

"Yes, ma'am." I smile as she takes my hand and waves over her shoulder to her friends as we walk out.

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	60. Chapter 60

**SM owns. NOT BETA'D**

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Christmas Eve is spent in bed, the room service cart completely covered in empty plates and half-eaten deserts. We've had a great time just lounging, fooling around, talking, laughing, texting all our friends and family back home to wish them a merry Christmas. Followed by sex.

Lots of good sex.

After one of those  _lots of sex_  moments, I lean against the headboard while she leans against me, sweaty and spent.

And happy.

She plays with our linked fingers as she sighs.

"He's right, you know," she says quietly.

"Who?"

"Ian."

"About what?"

"About how what happened between us was as much my fault as it was yours."

"Bella," I start, but she continues.

"It's true. I never had the guts to tell you how I felt. Alice and Rose constantly told me to just say it, that I needed to trust you. And I just didn't. I was scared. Scared to lose you, scared of rejection. And on top of everything I blamed you for all of it. I'm sorry."

"Hey," I'd had enough. I guided her to turn towards me and she went a step further to straddle me. I wasn't complaining one fucking bit. But I had to be serious and fight the urge to push against her.

"No more apologies, remember? It's over. We both fucked up. We learned from it, and here we are. No going back. I'm in it for the long haul. Are you?" I hold her face between my hands and bring our foreheads together. She nods.

"Yes. Totally in." She smiles and presses her lips to mine.

I break away first. "I have something for you," I admit, stretching over to the night stand drawer and grabbing the little box I placed there yesterday.

"Edward, you didn't have to do that. I didn't even know you were coming so I have nothing to give you," she protests before I cut her off with another deep kiss.

"Stop. Your gift to me is you giving us a chance. This is nothing, just something I saw one day and wanted you to have it."

She takes the box and slowly opens it. Her expression when she sees what's inside is totally unreadable. I'm suddenly nervous. Maybe it's too much?

"Edward," she breathes. "This is, this is perfect. It's beautiful."

There are tears welling up in her eyes as I offer to take it out and put it on.

"Do you like it?" I say, taking out the necklace with the little round silver charm.

"Oh, Edward, I totally love it," she gushes, taking the charm in her hand and reading the stamped message.

" _I choose you. Always._ "

"I do. I always will," I say tentatively, watching her reaction.

She smiles,  _that_ smile that I've loved for years.  _My_ smile.

"I love you so much and I'm so afraid I'm going to wake up from this and it will all be a dream," she whispers as I clasp the necklace around her neck. The charm rests perfectly right under the little hollow in her throat.

"No dream, Angelgirl. Merry Christmas, Bella."

She showed me just how much she loved me well into the early morning.

Merry Christmas, indeed.

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**A/N: There you have it :) I might have been listening to James Morrison's sultry/raspy voice while writing this. That's one sexy voice, he's got** **.**

**If you wanna see what Edward gave Bella, check out my blog, it will be up in a few... diamondheart78 dot blogspot dot com  
**

**Fic rec:**

**I'm going out on a limb here and rec a Game of Thrones fic. If you've read or watching the show, or both, this is for you. I'm a big Arya/Gendry shipper, and this one's so sweet and intense I had to rec it. It's called " _Five Times Gendry Treated Arya Like a Girl"_  by lit_chick08 and you can find it here: [archiveofourown.org/works/343665](../../343665)**


	61. Chapter 61

**SM Owns. NOT BETA'D.**

**Witfit prompt: Bold, fold, hold.**

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**.**

The next three months do indeed go pretty quickly.

Not to say it wasn't hard. Because, seriously, leaving her was the toughest shit I ever had to do.

I told her I didn't want her at the airport when I left. I'd have enough of the airport drama to last me a lifetime. And after we spending the rest of the week together, culminating in a fantastic New Year's Eve around the Eiffel Tower, including another round of our own fireworks back at our hotel room, I didn't want us to end with a sad goodbye.

No, I said "see you soon" to her before the taxi picked me up from her apartment. I refused to say goodbye anymore. Thinking I'd lost her once was more than enough.

I went home, started the new semester with a full load of classes. It served to at least pretend I didn't have time to think about her. But of course, that was a complete sham since I thought about her every waking minute. We texted non-stop and of course we had quite a few phone calls and the occasional Skype session. She even got bold and when her picture appeared on my screen, we was dressed (or not, depending on how you look at it) in straight up black lace lingerie. Watching her all shy while wearing that evil outfit... damn, I nearly died.

That was a fun afternoon.

Before any of us realizes, it's time for Bella to come home. I appeal to my sister, Alice and the rest of the gang to stay at the house and let me greet her alone. Her parents want to fly in just to welcome her back, but I'm able to steer them away, thankfully. They flew in anyway and are back at Bella's with the rest of them ready to surprise her with a welcome back party.

So here I wait. Departures. I sigh, looking at the boards to make sure her flight's on time.

It's not.

Delayed.

Well, shit, haven't we delayed everything enough? Now American Airlines is keeping my Angelgirl from me yet again?

So I wait, tapping out a quick text to Rose to relay the info that she's running a bit late.

Finally, about forty-five minutes later, the gate opens and the rush of travelers hustles past me and I feel like a fish against the current. But I don't care. My eyes are trained to the open doors, waiting for what I've waited for.

She steps out, visibly tired, hair up in a messy pony tail, carrying her bag over her shoulder. She looks around, eyes scanning the sea of people before finally landing on me.

She gives me  _that_  smile, and I'm done.

There's burst of sunlight that glows from within her and in an instant she's running towards me until I'm touching her. I fold my arms around her, every part of me touching every part of her and I can feel her panting breaths against my neck as I close my eyes and try to remember this feeling. Like everything is full circle.

"God, I missed you so much," She says, squeezing to hold me tighter still.

"You have no fucking clue, Angelgirl. I love you hard, B."

"I love you too," she says leaning away to look at me. Tears about to fall on her beautiful cheeks. But this time, it's all happy.

"Let's go home."

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**A/N: So, I think I've got one more up my sleeve and we're done. Maybe a tiny epi.**

**Thanks for all the tweets, pimping, sweet reviews, and for just giving this story the time of day ;)**


	62. Chapter 62

**SM owns. NOT BETA'D.**

**Witfit prompt: "I'm Yours, heart and soul," he said.**

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"Surprise!"

Friends and family shout as I unlock her door. Her face is priceless.

"Oh, my God! Are you serious? You guys!" She stares at everyone wide-eyed, taking in the over-the-top decorations crowned with the huge "Welcome Home" banner.

It's all Alice.

As she's pulled into a to of directions and hugs, her hand remains firmly in mind and she doesn't seem to want to let go. She pulls me along. I'm not complaining.

I'm patted hard on the back my Em. "Heh. I heard about all the wooing and shit, man. You pulled it off. Nice!" His grin is wide as he squeezes my shoulder.

"Ow, fuck, Em. Yeah, it was touch and go there for a while, dude. But everything worked out."

"Don't fuck it up again," he says, pointing his finger at me and leveling me with his stare. I know he's halfway joking. Only halfway. Em's fiercely loyal and protective.

I nod and smile, letting myself get pulled by Bella's hand as we make our way towards the end of all the guests. Rose gives her a huge hug, as does Alice.

"Gah! I'm so glad you're home. We need a girls' night STAT. Tomorrow! What do you say?" Alice says immediately. Bella smiles indulgently before shifting her eyes to me momentarily. She's looking for backup. Shit, I want her all to myself tomorrow... and the next day... and the day after that. But then again, I've had her to myself for the last week. I try not to be selfish.

Before I can give her the option, my darling sister pipes in.

"Uh, Aly, maybe we should give B a chance to get home and get over her jet lag, you know? We'll get together later in the week, right, Bella?"

I love my sister.

"Oh, yes! Yeah, totally! But Rose is right. I kinda just wanna chill at home a bit, get my bearings again, unpack and do laundry. You know how it is," Bella lets her down easy.

Alice glances at me, narrowing her eyes knowingly.

"Oh, I get it. You want to spend time with  _the boyfriend_. Fair enough. I'd do the same if I were you. I'll text you later in the week then." She sighs dramatically, like this is all a big fucking inconvenience. But I know she's fucking with her. I smirk as I thank them and pull my girl away from the crowd.

I give her a hug, my arms encircling her completely, tightly, all of me to all of her. She sighs.

"I'm so happy to be home. I can't believe you guys did this. Even Mom and Dad!"

"It's all for you, B. They all love you."

She leans away from my chest to look up at me. "How about you?"

"Me?"

"Yeah. You said they all love me..." she smiles wickedly. She's messing with me.

I take a deep breath and kiss her soundly, not caring that every one of our friends and family are here watching us.

"Angelgirl, I'm yours, heart and soul."

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**A/N: Well, that's it. I'll have a short epi in a week or so ;)**

**Thanks to all of you for your reviews, support, twitter pimping and general love for this story and our Delayward. The road to redemption is hard. I think he performed exceedingly well, wouldn't you agree?**

**Toodles! -DH78**


	63. Chapter 63

**SM OWNS. NOT BETA'D.**

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**Epilogue**

**Several years later**

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"Gosh, I missed this place so much."

"Yeah, I have to admit, I've been looking forward to coming back here since the last time."

"I wonder why," I reply, peaking up at him and squeezing his hand as we walk through the beautiful gardens.

I really did miss Paris in a bittersweet kind of way. It represents so many things, so many moments in my life. But when I see how the distinctly Parisian sun catches the bronze highlights in Edward's hair, I beam inwardly. This is the Paris I love. The Paris with him in it.

When I returned to New York all those years ago, I'll admit it wasn't all sunshine and rainbows. Edward took on a full load at medical school and after that, his residency. I earned a teaching certificate and took a job teaching art at a middle while putting myself through my MFA*.

Edward and I hardly saw on another, and it wasn't for lack of trying. We actually had to pencil each other in on a calendar prominently displayed on our fridge. Sometimes,  _that_ didn't even work, especially when Edward was always on call.

Yes, we ended up moving in together about a year after my return from Paris. Edward was practically at my place the majority of the time anyway, and we figured with what was coming school and work-wise, our best bet of catching some time together would be if we lived together. So, he broke his lease right when mine was up, and we managed to find a small loft in the Village that was perfect for us.

There was a point where the only time I'd see Edward was in bed at night, and only to kiss each other goodnight and snuggle out of pure exhaustion.

No, nothing's been easy for us.

So when Edward's residency came to an end and I was done with school, he took charge and bought us two plane tickets to Paris.

So here we are.

"Where's your head right now, Angelgirl?" Edward asks, pulling me out of my trip down memory lane. He guides us down a path that leads to one of the many small fountains here and sits us on the edge. It's really like a postcard here.

I breathe in the fresh Spring air and look around before gazing at my favorite pair of green eyes.

"Just, reminiscing about where we've been, how far we've come. You know, the usual," I joke.

He smirks and nods. He  _does_  know. He knows me better than I know myself, and vice versa.

"Did you ever think we'd be here in this moment, Edward? Like seriously, life has certainly made things interesting for us, don't you think?"

He takes both my hands in his and brings them to his lips, placing small kisses on both. He still manages to make me light-headed after all these years. I love the way he loves.

"No," he replies, shaking his head slowly. "I never thought that any of this would ever happen. I never imagined you could love me the way you do. I never imagined you'd give me the chance to show you how much I adore you. I never imagined we could be so happy, even with all the crazy shit we've had to tackle," we both chuckle.  _Crazy shit_  isn't even the half of it.

"But, I've gotta say, I never, in a million years, ever thought I could be here right now, in Paris with you, about to do what I'm about to do," he said, taking a deep breath and sinking to the ground... one on knee.

My brain isn't processing this fast enough and when he lets go of one of my hands to take something out of his pocket, my eyes widen and I gasp. My hands are covering my mouth and my vision is suddenly blurry with unshed tears.

Edward's eyes are shiny too, and I can't believe what I'm seeing.

"Life has given us many twists and turns, Bella. But every single one has always lead back to you, to us. I love you so, so much. I want you, for the rest of my life. You're my best friend, my partner, my consciense, and the love of my life. Isabella Marie Swan, will you marry me?"

I was nodding furiously before he even got the proposal out.

"Yeah? Yes?" He says. He's giddy like a kid at christmas.

"Yes," I finally blurt out, my cheeks hurting from smiling so hard.

He stands, taking me with him before engulfing me in his embrace and swinging me off the ground. I giggle loudly while passerby congratulate us in French.

As Edward kisses me silly, my heart beats a mile a minute... and only for him.

I'm going to marry my best friend.

THE END.

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**A/N: *MFA= Master of Fine Arts**

**It was a PLEASURE to write this little story without a plan... I think it worked out nicely, don't you think?**

**I want to thank everyone for reading, reviewing, re-tweeting, pimping on your blogs, to your friends, etc. I can't tell you how it feels to know that people want to read the story you wanna tell. Merci!**

**Fic rec: if you're not reading _High Fidelity_  by IReen H. by now, IDK what to tell you... I finally bent to peer pressure and read it and am all caught up, now suffering the wait for updates. But it's soooooooo friggin good. (psst... I'll be interviewing IReen H. in the next couple of weeks... watch the blog).**

**I interviewed Denverpopcorn over at my blog. We discuss everything SOUL. Great interview. Love her to pieces.**

**I've entered an OS for the FicThisGif contest. Seriously, one of the coolest contests in a while, and everyone's in it... go take a look at all the fabulous entries (mine's in there somewhere ;)) Voting starts the 26th, but you can start reading and reviewing now! ficthisgif. blogspot. com**

**I'm working on Bella of Victoria again, so keep me on alert :)**

**PrimaryColors and I are still writing The Whole Package, no, we're not on hiatus ;) Our joint ffn profile is PrimaryDiamonds.**

**I'm on twitter: diamondheart78**

**I'm also on FB: Diamond Hart**

**Go say hello.**


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